[ one minute, you find yourself minding your business in the city of nueva bork, partying (?) like it's 1999. and the next, you feel a strange, ominous sensation up the back of your neck. you blink -
and... you're flat on your back outside! when you sit up, you realize a couple of things.
1. it is frosty cold outside, though maybe warmer than it has been the past few repetitive days - there's no snow on the ground. you see none of the others that were trapped in the city's loop just moments before, save for the two people besides yourself.
2. you're in a sleeping bag, and you can feel the weight of your wallet in your pocket.
3. you know, instinctively, that it is November 26th, 1999, roughly four-thirty in the morning, and you are waiting for something.
when you look around, you can see a few people behind you. mothers, parents, maybe even a couple of familiar faces. however, in front of you... you realize that you are near the end of a line. a long line. something thrums and buzzes through the air, a sense of excitement, or at least of anticipation.
in the distance, you can see the thrumming neon sign of KMART.
this... is still nueva bork, isn't it? you're still in nueva bork. you think. you've always been here, haven't you? you worked hard to earn enough money to live in the city. to... support your families? yes. to support your families. the three of you are neighbors, all from the same apartment building, but you can't recall being stuck in a time loop. or too much of anything at all about the life you lived before this place. you did, however, come to this place with a purpose, all together.
the stage is set. tell me a little about the life that you live in this city - beyond that, let's decide. what do you want to do first? ]
[Chihiro blinks, squinting blearily as he rustles out from his sleeping bag.]
[As he comes too and gets a re(?)understanding of his surroundings, he thinks of her....Char, the little girl he's been looking after for more than a year. She turned up hungry and cold at his doorstep one day, and he, the bleeding heart, decided to take her in. He's lived a humble life, making little wooden figurines to sell on the sides of the roads. He specializes in sculptures of fish. Goldfish. They're really good goldfish sculptures.]
[He wonders if Hakuri, the nice young man who lives next to him, is looking after Char right this moment, though checking the time, probably they're both asleep. Chihiro squints at his Batman-themed watch. Yeah. It's early.]
....I wonder if this line is going to move already.
[He murmurs. Char told him about this, and he can't let her down. He'd do anything for that little girl. He'd even kill a man. (Well....no, yeah, he would.)]
[ It's rough being a gay widow of seven children. The reminder stings his face from the frosty chill--the fact that he's out here in the first place in a sleeping bag. He looks through his wallet to double check that he has everything for the nth time and seeing a photo of three kids who look strikingly similar to Seodore. Four of them hate being in photos, just like their mom--
He checks his watch. It's way too early, but he sees Chihiro awake for some reason. ]
Mm, it will be once it opens...? When does it open again? Also, why are you awake? Can't sleep?
[ single teen mother this, gay widow that, welt rises out of his sleeping bag as he starts to hear voices so that he can check his wallet and his lists for the umpteenth time since they got into line. his old bones crack from lying on the ground in the cold, and he puts both hands into his lower back to further stretch it out with a groan, before - out comes the wallet.
the family photo of him and himeko surrounded by their children - two grey-haired, golden-eyed twins with mischievous glints in their eyes; the sweetest and brightest bubblegum girl in the world; and a stoic, shy dark-haired boy clinging to welt's leg - greets him, but so does a list from each individual besides himself. four wishlists in childish scrawl, and one more organized one compiled by both him and himeko for the proper shopping to be done after. ]
Doesn't hurt to start getting moving early to warm ourselves up, I think. It's going to be a long morning once they open the doors.
by now, you might have remembered why you're here, why there's such an exciting buzz in the air. today is, of course, black friday. and more importantly, the kmart ahead of you was chosen in a super-special corporate lottery by the most illustrious of companies. and therefore, the kmart in front of you is the only place the entirety of the country that you all have absolutely lived in that has the ultimate prize.
behold: Tiny.
you see, each year, only thirty-six of each beanie baby is released to each store. since this is the only store, that means that tiny the chihuahua, adorable eyes and poem on the tag and all, is the single rarest beanie baby on the market. and you all want that beanie baby. welt, seodore, chihiro - you all want that beanie baby. the problem is... so does every single other person in this line. you would think they'd be here for other black friday deals, but no.
it's all about tiny.
the countdown clock at the front of the store is just visible from your far back position. there's roughly ten minutes until the front doors open, and the three of you are absolutely not the first 36 people in this line. not that that necessarily means anything. you can strategize. you might still be able to bring home that chihuahua prize.
that thrum of excitement remains in the air. in front of you, a few people down, you an excitedly hear two parents talking about how much "little jiaoqiu would just LOVE to have a Tiny, i promised him!" and "did you see little char's halloween costume this year, with the tiny ears and the tag? bless her heart!" and someone else with a thick german accent describing the fact that his world class athleticism means he's guaranteed to be at the front as soon as the doors open.
this beanie baby is, as you know, a big fucking deal.
you've got about ten IC minutes to decide on your game plan, or even talk to some people around you. ]
[Char has been begging for it for AGES, it seems. It would rock her whole world It would make her the most popular girl in the neighborhood. And you, as her caretaker, have pledged to do anything in the world to keep her safe and sound and happy, other people be Damned!]
[(Hakuri has also been begging for one, but hey, if you get one, you think he and Char can share.)]
She was cute.
[He murmurs, smiling a bit at the exclamation, but anyways...it's game time. He's ready to go. He's a fast sort, and he's going to weave and dive between the others to try to get in front. If people trip or fall? Their problem. Tiny only. Tiny the only thing ever.]
Early bird gets the worm.
[He'll glance at the other two, but he's too busy wrapping up his sleeping bag so he can be unfettered, free for Tiny acquisition.]
[ He yawns. Seodore really should have had more sleep the previous night and is rgeretting it a little. Alas. You can't do much when the youngest child sometimes acts like a cat and wakes you up randomly past midnight every single night.
He might look like a twink, but he thinks he can beat out the "world class athleticism" that the person claims that they have. Physical education was really the only thing he was good at in school and it still holds true. The sleeping bag will be ditched here, since he doubts anyone would just take it with the frenzy that's about to happen. ]
Best to not let nerves cloud us, given the mission that numerous children have given us.
[ it's said with a little chuckle, so it's a bit of a joke, but welt at least does roll up the sleeping bag after pocketing his lists and wallet separately so that it can be set aside. he'll come back for it later, but it's not his priority at the moment. what is his priority is those adoring faces looking up at him last night before he left their building to get in line.
at least one tiny must come home, if not two. it would bring a lot of joy for the upcoming holidays and numerous birthdays if he could manage that for them, and then some. he looks to the two of them, barely sparing the source of the german accent a glance - the stranger won't stand a chance, he decides. ]
Any game plans for the two of you, gentlemen? I'd like to see that we all make it to the toy aisle in time to get everyone their small friend. [ keep the peace in the building between all the kids. ]
[ as you all know, the kmart is of course, a very large store. the tiny toys are at the very back in the toy section - you will have to bypass a variety of other sections and the crowd and find the fastest route to the toy to successfully get one. makeup sections, clothing sections, the hunting section, the trapdoor section, the music and dvd selection, clearance, the sporting goods section... there are many routes and few tinies. and that of course doesn't include your fellow linemates, who are starting to look excited. you can see someone jumping up and down and stretching nearby, preparing themselves to bolt and run. one of the murmurs something about preparing the bear traps. sheesh!!
[And yes, game plans. His red eyes flit over to the rest, squinting at the mention of bear traps, and...well. While he wants to get Tiny SO Freaking Bad, he is not the type to cause too much chaos, either. He doesn't want to REALLY harm anyone. The last thing he needs is a lawsuit or worse, jail.]
[A little sigh.]
Quickest route possible. I went last week and mapped it out. [Hmmph.] I don't want to mess around with those traps. I'll avoid them. Last thing I need is to be slowed down.
[He's thinking of maybe going by the hunting section and grabbing something there...maybe a boat oar just to Scare People Off.]
[ looks down at his rolled sleeping bag thoughtfully. hm... ]
Not such a terrible idea. [ he picks it back up and holds it under his arm calmly, listening to the chatter and watching the others in the line with a critical eye. welt is looking for that cocky german, like maybe he'll knock them over on the way in on principle.
competition, incoming. ]
If you would like to lead the way, Mr. Chihiro, I would be glad to assist in clearing the path until we can get our hands on such a non-lethal trap as Mr. Seodore suggests. [ but the moment that he sees something that he can use to keep distance between him and any attackers, much like chihiro he's going to grab hold of it. his voice lowers for the two of them. ] They'll also be fighting amongst themselves, I'm sure, so we can use that to our advantage. Allow them to think that someone grabbed up three or four of the dogs, far more than their share, and distract them this way.
[ the crowd begins to count down as the countdown clock on display at the front of the store starts to get closer to the hour. 5:00, the doors open. (and weirdly, you get a sudden sense of deja vu, like you've watched an ominous countdown fairly recently?). the people around you start to tense up - you can hear shoes scratching lightly at the pavement as people ready themselves to run. the occasional sound of metal (what? that's definitely normal) and the slow sounds of the security guards at the front positioning themselves at the doors. the halogen lights of the kmart hum on.
welt, in lookin for the cocky german accented guy... you can't find him? not yet. weird. maybe he's just really short. well, i'm sure it's fine.
in the meantime, a sign is taped unceremoniously to the glass paneling, just close enough that you can see. ONE TINY PER CUSTOMER. we'll see if anyone actually follows that rule. ]
5....4....3....
[ you all prepare yourselves. you think of the children. ]
...2...1....!
BOOM!
[ and with a cacophonous noise, the doors to the kmart slam open and there's a massive rush of human bodies immediately begins booking it for the front doors of this great value paradise. you all are swept up into the crowd of runners - the bodies are smashing together, everyone pushing and shoving and desperately attempting to get to the front of the group and into the store. there's at least a hundred people in front of you, and thirty or so behind you. all three of you find yourselves pushed, shoved, and tugged in nearly every direction, and the kmart feels like its a thousand miles away.
your first job is to find a way to get through this crush.
as a bonus! chihiro, you feel someone shove into you from the back - a tiny Karen with a fantastic nineties haircut that you recognize from down the street. she shrieks OUT OF MY WAY, GAYBOY!! and pulls a pocketknife. it's been five minutes? yikes. ok, so maybe you have to deal with that obstacle too. ]
[Okay this was way more of a rush than he was expecting. His cool edgy demeanor ready for any tasks is clearly a little off kilter here in the rush, especially when a small lady comes up to him, calls him a gayboy, and brandishes a knife.]
[Well, THAT'S rude! Not like he's soulmate bonded to Hakuri next door and hasn't told him his feelings yet but maybe one day he will over a candlelit dinner and and give Char another father figure in her lif- you know what? YOU KNOW WHAT? Hakuri would tell him to fucking get this lady out of here!]
[He's absolutely going to whing a sideways punch at her side and try to grab the knife, and regardless of how that happens, he needs to get Tiny, so he's going to move forward with his initial plan.]
[ lady: OUTTA MY WAY GAY BOY seodore, immediately turning to see: oh it's not me
Anyway.
Chihiro doesn't need to be stabbed right now?? He sees some people getting stampeded over and tries not to focus on that, but on the current predicament. After Chihiro swings a punch, Seodore attempts to shove the lady to the other side. They need distance and quick. ]
Chihiro, run ahead!
[ Is the youngest also the fastest? Maybe? Anyway, he'll leave it up to him!! ]
[ as they get swarmed, welt has the wherewithal to keep his arms at chest level, giving himself a little breathing room and to prevent a crowd crush. it also means he can push out against anyone trying to buffer up against or shove him, and he tries to steer himself in a way that keeps him close to the other two. neighborly solidarity.
his innate fatherly instinct has him swinging his sleeping bag like a squishy but dense battering ram to wallop people out of the way, to hopefully give chihiro room to move out of knifing range while seodore shoves at karen. MAKE WAY FOR THE GAYBOYS. ]
If human decency is out the window, very well - perhaps you all need a lesson! Move!
when chihiro is having his gay protagonist moment of realization about his beloved next door neighbor, nineties karen swings her pocketknife. as he reaches to grab it, the pocketknife stabs him right through the hand. blood spurts out from the injury - the lady cackles in glee and yanks the pocketknife out, then she starts to try and push past...
...seodore, who also failed! she succeeds in knocking your ass over into the crowd of stampeding people and slips past the both of you. for a second, you think you might be completely swept over as people start trampling over you. you can NOT die here. you haven't even gotten inside yet.
seodore, you hear welt yelling over your head, and welt got a partial success! that means that while karen gets away through the crowd crush and skitters off to go cause more mania, you are able to smack aside two men who are squawking about LIMITED EDITION! just in front of you, clearing a tiny path for the three of you to try and press forward, and ideally a chance for seodore to scramble back to his feet. the guys yelling about limited edition go down, and you hear a sickening crunch of a body being crushed, but honestly. fucking scalpers, they deserved it!
you're a little more than halfway to the kmart with this intervention and the crowd pushing behind you. the first two lines of people have broken through the doors. you're solidly middle of the pack, and the interior of the store is close enough that with one more push in the crowd, you might be able to break through.
since welt is at the front of the group, he'll hear the sound of a tire iron swinging through the air in a shing!. there's a guy coming up on the group's left side attempting to clear out the crowd by causing concussions, and he's got a line of fallen beanie baby warriors behind him, because he has been successful up to this point. it looks like he's got a bone to pick with you, glasses. you're in his way.
roll two d6s each of you to determine your level of success to making it inside the store/dealing with tire iron boy/anything else you want to do! ]
[Wow, that hurts! Chihiro balks at the pain in his hand, but it can't be helped - nothing will stop him from getting Tiny. Not Karens, not homophobia, not a giant disco chalupa coming to smash them all. What was that last one? Eh, just something random.]
Thanks, Welt-!
[He'll ignore the pain, moving forward in this utter chaos. But then...the sound. Chihiro will shift back, and, with his bloody hand, take his sleeping bag and try to throw it right at the tire iron guy as he tries to squeeze forward. Fucking Hell.]
[ After getting knocked over, Seodore quickly gets up before he also joins the stampeded party. Thanks to Welt, the tiny path is more than welcome at this point. Seodore doesn't have anything in his hands except his wallet, and he needs that! They're so close to KMart. So close.
He claps his hands loud together just once, but done in a way that makes a loud popping-like sound and yells loudly: ]
THEY MOVED TINY TO THE EASTERN PART OF THE STORE!!
[ He's assuming it's actually up north. Also, of course, he's lying. He wants to shift the direction of this crowd so bad. ]
Onwards, gentlemen, and we'll see to injuries once we're out of this.
[ except, now he sees that there's someone with a tire iron, and he briefly wonders why he didn't think to get his out of the minivan? alas, it's in the next lot over instead of the kmart parking lot, to ensure that there would be no vandals, and it wouldn't be trapped in the stream of cars trying to leave this lot, but...
well, he tightens his grip on the only thing that he has. ]
Quick, to Tiny! To the east side! [ echoing seodore's lie as he rears back with the sleeping back to thrust it forward, trying to intercept the next tire iron swing if he can. maybe if he can wrench it out of the maniac's hands... ]
my sweet chihiro rolled a fail yet again, so when he throws the sleeping bag, it just misses the tire iron guy entirely. he swings his tire iron at welt and cracks him in the shoulder, hard. but you know what, that's okay!
seodore and welt, since you are both attempting the same thing.... well. the crowd hears seodore's voice, as loud as a gunshot. there's some muttering in the crush of the crowd, that turns to yelling and panicking - East?! East side?! East side?!" "They moved him?! The bastards! I'll slaughter them!" "TINY TO THE SURVIVORS!"
and about half the crowd starts to move to the east, splitting free from the main group and clearing a path for you all to actually enter the store with some muchneeded breathing room. the three of you clear through the doors of the kmart, and the landscape before you is... chaos.
the toy section beckons you in the background, and there's one easy path directly to it! well, there was, at least. but stnading in the center of that aisle is a massive, life size figure of optim*s prime. behind it, the rest of the aisle is on fire.
however! you all planned ahead, or at least may have. as you know, there are many sections between you and the holy land of tiny's stuffed animal shelf display. to the left, the men's clothing section, the trap section and the sporting goods section. to the right, the hunting section, the home goods section, and the Clearance Section. you can choose where you want to go!
beyond that, there are many shopping carts in disarray. boxes and displays have been knocked over, and there's still a very large group of shoppers rushing for the toy section. the very first group of people appear to be almost to the back stuffed animal aisle. ]
[He will have so much to explain to Char when he gets home...]
[Chihiro almost falls from the impact, but recovers just in time as the chaos shifts away to the east section. At least they have room to move. He grits his teeth, casting his gaze between the two sides-]
Why the hell is it on fire...?
[Whatever. No changes in plans. No hesitations.]
Going through the Clearance section-!
[And so he does - HE AIN'T MESSING WITH NO TRAPS.]
Welt, pick anything except the home goods section!
[ Because he's going there. He sprints on over, stealing some christmas tree glass bauble ornaments off the racks and if there are any NPCs following him, he'll toss one at their face. NPCs in front of him too. Get out of his way!!!
He doesn't want Welt to be affected by the glass shards, okay.
[ ouchies! that hurts! but welt mans through it easily enough, no matter how painful the strike to his shoulder is - he's not sure how much damage it did, but as long as he can still use it... well, that's fine. people are leaving. tire iron man got his hit in and is no longer hitting him? he'll take it.
the other two break off from the group, and he takes a deep breath to steel himself. right. ]
Do try to stay out of trouble! [ and then he tosses his sleeping bag into a shopping cart, grabbing it and using it akin to a battering ram for any displays or people in his way without having to use his injured arm. he's also planning to use it to protect his feet and legs from any traps anyone's decided to throw down, heading towards the
hunting section.
if nothing else, he can find something to scare someone off - and in a worst case scenario, he's not afraid to defend himself or his neighbors in this chaos. ]
not many people choose to go through the clearance. only the most judicious of deal hunters, and the bravest of men, dare to hunt through the clearance of the kmart. with your partial success, you realize that the clearance section is... actually the fastest way to get to the Tiny Display! your beanie baby future is maybe in sight, chihiro.......
the problem is that the clearance is halloween. spooky season is over and mariah carey season has begun. as you run through the clearance section at top speed, you hear an ominous noise - not from your fellow shoppers, but... was that a revving? you turn over your shoulder, and standing there is ... this guy. he's wearing a nice kmart employee apron, and there's a badge on his chest that says "rate my customer service!" he raises his chainsaw.
and then he lunges at chihiro! CHAINSAW MAN!
seodore, meanwhile! your full success means that it's relatively quick to cruise through the home goods section - you find the christmas display at the front and slap down the baubles, leaving glass behind you. someone who followed screams as they eat shit and fall on the glass - you think you hear a baby crying when they do? did someone bring their baby to this? what the hell? - but for the most part, you're able to shove past the ones behind you easily and make a break for the end of the home good section. there's a very determined man who you recognize as a dedicated family man with a sick daughter who desperately wants Tiny for her. you can't let him have tiny. that fucker. bastard. his back is to you because he is so desperately running for the rack, which is nearing your line of sight.
welt makes his way down the hunting section. with his partial success, he is able to run on his shopping cart and absolutely fucking ram someone out of his way and directly into the flames behind optim*s pr*me as he lunges through the hunting section. the first thing he'll see are several other NPCs with the same idea, including the school principal where your darling children attend school. there's a huge gun rack and a display of bullets in a glass case, and even some bows and arrows, and...a stun gun? nearby, a woman wearing an I <3 TINY tshirt rips a machete off the wall and starts running for the stuffed animals in the background. she has blood on her face already, and she cuts down a nice white haired grandma, whose body lands in front of your cart.
also in the section is a lifesize deer with a massive six point rack, for target practice. the deer looks at you. wait. it looks at you? oh, yeah. it's alive. and boy, it does not look happy! ]
[Wait, why would he know this. Who is Chainsaw Man. A devil? A demon? A man? A man full of secrets? Whatever. He's NOT going to stand in front of him and happy Char! Damn it all! He'll lose his arm if he has to!!]
[He is grabbing a Batarang accessory off the aisle, and just launches it back with all the force he can at his neck, all while trying to make a break for it. BATMAN, BITCH.]
Seodore isn't a dedicated family man. In fact, his husband was a lot better at this family thing than he was. And now that he's dead, it's up to Seodore to take care of them. Does he want to? He has to. He can't let this guy have Tiny.
So while this man has his sights on the rack, he attempts to trip him up on the way with the painting of his. He's being merciful and not breaking his spine with it, so maybe that's good??? ]
welt has to pause for a moment, regarding the creature as well as the school principal out of his peripheral. he gauges his options here, feeling no immediate remorse for the person that he sent into the flames - perhaps later, but it's black friday; what were they expecting? - but he does frown at the thought of throwing the principal to the metaphorical wolves.
well, he has to. ]
Look, everyone, a limited edition, XL Christmas Tiny with push-to-talk actions! [ and he points at the deer, hoping for the stupidity of a mob to kick in as he shoves the shopping cart on the trail of the machete woman and tries to book it back to the display case of guns and ammo. ]
[ chihiro nails another partial success. so a few things happen!
first of all, he grabs that batarang and absolutely flings it at the Chainsaw Man, who lunges after him in the same moment. the batarang zips through the air, powered by a man's love for his sweet daughter, and it slices straight through the chainsaw man's neck. his head separates from his body (neat!) and unfortunately, his chainsaw was already in motion, which means that his chainsaw slices through chihiro's forearm, cutting it off at the elbow!
Ow!
hey the good news is he's right next to the stuffed animals, now.
seodore gets a complete success! so he swings that painting up onto the other man's legs - and there's a resounding crack. the man screams, because you have broken his femurs. both of them. as you clear him, leaping past his desperation, you realize a second later that he has a gun, and in his desperation for his daughter, he fires it. by some miracle, you manage to avoid the bullet beyond a graze, and you round the corner to reach the display.
welt's complete success means this absolutely bullshit lie completely works, because like five more npcs look up, their heads snapping up from where they're making their way to the back of the store. the deer whips its head to the side and snorts, and welt can take advantage of the chaos to slip out of the way and run to the guns and ammo case. it's currently locked. no one thought to try and smash it open yet? you can also see the stuffed animal section, and it is close, now. you can also hear the screams of the woman who you hit with the shopping cart. isn't that susan from your bridge club? oops. well, she cheats anyway.
both seodore and chihiro have reached the toy section, and welt is close enough to see the current chaos. there's the tiny display. of the original 36 tinies, there are, in his vision, roughly 10 left. and there are so many people desperately crawling over each other and trying to get to the ten tinies on the top shelves. bodies are hitting the floor. a lady screams "THIS IS FOR TICKLE ME ELMO LAST YEAR, YOU BITCH! as she swings a crowbar at another woman, sending her careening down to the ground in a spray of blood. there are two people fistfighting just below that. another one is trying to claw someone's eyes out. my god.
the workers at the cashier just down the way are cowering in fright, waiting at the blood soaked checkout. it seems if you can win your prize, you can run to checkout and run straight to the exit... if you can win your prize! ]
[Well, he did it. He tempted fate. That's his arm gone. All for Tiny. Tiny, that bloodthirsty little god dog, asking for sacrifice. The Aztecs would weep.]
[This bloodloss eventually is going to be a problem. It's not a problem now. (It is a problem now). But what's an arm, compared with a child's happiness?]
[He can't falter now. Stepping up probably over other people's backs as swift as he can, Chihiro uses his free hand to try to swipe up at where he expects the little dogs to be, adrenaline in his veins. Only Tiny matters. Only Tiny, the All-Seeing.]
[Really, this does feel like he's been unwittingly entered into some sort of cult. Anyways! He's going to get his DOG, other people DAMNED and he's going to run to the exit.]
[ When Seodore reaches the holy land, he careens the painting at the women's spine who grieved for the loss of tickle me elmo last year. When there's another npc running this way, he throws another christmas glass bauble at their face and picks up a glass shard.
By the time Seodore is also rushing to the front of the store through the hunting aisle, there's one more Tiny left. These people are quick little buggers, aren't they? ]
[ welt is a reasonable man. he feels regret for the principal, probably about to be gored either by a deer or by the masses, not to be seen at his children's school once fall break ends. he doesn't feel much remorse for hitting his bridgemate susan, though, because she does cheat, and how did she think she could get away with it forever?
they're in his way of getting a tiny.
no.
they're in the way of him getting two tiny, the little bastard and its heart tag and all. he must get two. he hopes that some of the remaining eight will be awarded to chihiro and seodore, but those two? those two will be his. one for the children to share, and one to go up on eBay once he fixes his probably dislocated shoulder and cleans the blood from his clothes.
he grabs the nearest object to break the glass of the gun display, grabbing a hunting rifle out and a box of ammo to go with it. if it's not loaded - it's the 90s what do i know, they probably load the display guns in this godless era - he'll load it. and he'll terminator walk towards the promiseland heralded by ty warner, firing a warning shot into the air. ]
[ chihiro, with a partial success, you manage to clear the first round of clawing, screaming human men and women, desperately fighting to bask in the glory of tiny. you bleed on everyone in the process, and you're starting to feel incredibly woozy, but you safely dodge any further injury as you make it to the very top of the pile. you reach, reach, reach... and you find only air.
you realize that there is only one tiny left. One. The Tiny Who Death Forgot. the other ones just disappeared out of thin air. and the crowd breaks into an absolute frenzy, starting to shriek and tear at each other, starting to literally climb the shelves. since you're at the top, chihiro, you could grab the Final Tiny. now... you have to get back down.
what happened to the rest of the tinies? they vanished so quickly. hmm. perhaps they're among the crowd below...?
welt, with a complete success, you fucking terminator walk with your rifle. you know what? your rifle's already loaded, because you rolled well, so yeah. the crowd itself is losing it, screaming and yelling and now trying to grab chihiro, hoping to yank him back down. you hear a man scream, "WHO TOOK THEM" and another voice yell, "GIVE THAT BACK YOU SLUT!" you see seodore hit the woman in the spine with a painting, and then run past you, back into the hunting section. the woman screams in agony and grabs someone else by the legs, pulling them down into the writhing pile of human bodies below the altar of the Tiny.
the warning shot does nothing. they are lost to their reverie of shopping. however, when you look down, you notice a single, bloodied Tiny on the floor, looking at you with its giant, soulful beanie baby eyes.
seodore! your completes success means, as mentioned above, your well timed painting throw nails that lady in the spine, and you... turn around and book it for the exit, heading back for the hunting section. the "XL Christmas Tiny" gang is contending with the deer in this section at the moment, and the angry creature picks up a woman wearing a "I <3 MY SON" shirt and flings her gored corpse at seodore using its antlers as he starts dashing through the hunting section. right now... something seems to be slowing your final exit down...
what are you hunting for in the section, seodore? ]
[Oh, Tiny. Glorious Tiny, who looks down on Earth, on little mortal lives, and does not forgive. Oh Tiny of the Beady Eyes and marketable smallness, oh Tiny who asks for the endless gains of human misery.]
[Technically, this is all he needs. Just the one Tiny. But....does he want to give it to Hakuri? Hakuri of the blue eyes and winsome smile?]
[Hakuri can share. It's fine. God, this stump hurts. Sorry, lady he's bleeding on. He'll slide the little toy into his coat with his only hand, before he's just going to go. Fuck It. Time to kick the shelf as hard as he can, and try his best to slide down the human pile of chaos here like this is a snowbank of Karens.]
[ He needs some self-defense, so he tries to dodge the gored corpse flung at him and grabs a rifle case off the rack. Apparently they're really sturdy?? Looks at that. It's on sale!
Anyway, he takes a moment to breathe in--a short reprieve in this madness inside a KMart while studying the people who stand between him and the exit. After he's done with his short break, he swings the heavy case at the sides of people who are in the way as he sprints towards the registers. ]
[ DAMNIT. IT'S BLOODY. IT WON'T MAKE AS MUCH MONEY ON EBAY.
welt frowns and cocks the shotgun again to expel the wasted shells and reload, scooping up the single tiny on the ground and shoving it into his jacket at his breast to ensure its further safety. close to his heart, bloodied and battered as he is - tiny is a reflection of all, it seems. what horrors have its beady little eyes seen? does it miss being south of the border, out in the sun? where tiny the chihuahua could have fun?
anyways. with that taken care of, he aims the shotgun ahead, so that he can help seodore clear the path for them to get the fuck out of here. one is better than none, he supposes. ]
Hurry, Chihiro!
[ but now all his focus is ahead and i finally goddamn rolled low. take me out, tiny dancer. ]
chihiro, you have obtained +1 tiny, and so much bloodloss. but you are going to make char so, so happy. your tiny is not bloodstained - it is pristine and wonderful, and you feel so warm and safe when you take it in your hands. despite all of your bloodloss, you are moving, and safely, you make your way down the World's Worst Slide of people. in fact, you do so smoothly that you avoid getting scratched, bitten, kicked, hit or stabbed the entire way down. your feet touch the ground.
the cashier is just ahead. one single man clutching a Tiny in his hands pays the cash register and sprints out of the door at mach fuck. otherwise, there is no one in your way.
welt! with chihiro taken care of and your bloodied dog safely in your coat, you feel as if the chihuahua misses nothing, because this is what it wants. to come home with you! (or the bloodshed? not sure which.) instead, you aim your shotgun and you fire, hitting another woman from your bridge club right between the eyes. what a great shot! because you are focused ahead, you miss the fact that a white haired woman wearing a shirt that says #1 FOX TOPPER and screaming bloody murder comes rushing at you, and swings a hammer at your knee from behind, slamming into the bone and shattering it. ouchies!
you've cleared the path for chihiro, and seodore has his big case! he's so ready to help! he smashes his big case into an npc and slaps them back into the deer - though you are now drenched in blood, you're doing pretty okay for injuries, and headed straight for the registers. the only three people left on the run for the registers are chihiro, welt, and the lady who just attacked welt from behind. that's it. and you're empty handed, but... at least the other two have tinies, right? teamwork! ]
[The end is in sight. He's never believed in heaven before now, but it must be this. Chihiro looks up, sees the cashier, locks eyes...]
[But he can't help but turn back towards the other two. Those, who have helped him get the god of all time (GOAT...wait, Tiny is a dog).]
[He will get to the cashier. But first, he will pick up whatever he sees next to him. Oh, look, it's a Walkman. Who brought music to this place? Wanted their own murder playlist? Wait, this just looks like it has ABBA's Greatest Hits. Nice.]
[He's going to YEET it as hard as he can to the white haired woman behind Welt, before moving to the cashier, his vision swimming.]
COME ON! Let's GO!
[IT'S TIME TO B-B-B-B-BUY THAT TINY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
[ Seodore decides that he needs a loooong shower after all this. Seodore finally makes it to where they are and runs to immediately slam the case into the woman's side after Chihiro's yeeting. ]
[ our rolls are SHIT but maybe by our powers combined we can get the fuck out of this together?
welt yells out in surprised pain, staggering forward and taking his not-damaged knee. but he's down, not out, and chihiro and seodore do their best to give their aid - which he appreciates, and will show once they get the hell out of here.
he swings the rifle around to aim directly at the woman's chest, pulling the trigger despite their proximity. it's worth a shot (ha ha) in case it at least scares her off before she brains him.
well okay!! first of all, chihiro flings that walkman with all of his one armed might. unfortunately, the walkman is not the batarang. you can all hear "YEEEESSSSSS I'VE BEEN BROKEN HEAAARTEEEEDDD" play through the headphones attached to this thing as it sails through the air, and the crazy hot lady taking out welt's kneecaps dodges it like the terminator. because that weird german accent you heard was her. because she is the terminator.
anyway. seodore is running to slam his case into the lady's side, and the woman lashes out at him with the hammer, swinging at his body and landing a hit on his side, past the case. she's a maniac! she's so strong! she's so buff! she's so sexy!
and welt pulls the trigger with his rifle even though he is in pain. he shoots, and though it seemed like he was going to miss, thankfully, seodore's smack of the woman is enough to move her over, so his shot punctures right through her chest. her shirt now says "NUMBER ONE FOX (HOLE) TOPPER" because there's a hole in the middle there. she flies off of welt and hits the ground, and for a moment, there is silence.
it looks like you can pay. chihiro, the terrified worker takes your money, and you receive a receipt. you are the proud owner of a tiny. welt, all you have to do is get up and do the same. maybe seodore will help you up? ]
[ Chihiro is successful. It looks like Seodore is going over to Welt to help him up, but the first thing he does is kick the shotgun out of hands. The swing of the rifle case to the top of the head follows immediately. Mind you, this is still the guy who's still covered in blood. The hit from the hammer doesn't hinder anything. ]
[ chihiro is a good boy, looking out for others as he is. welt is sure that char will enjoy tiny, and appreciate him for all that he's managed to do to get it for her. the same as caelus, stelle, march, and dan heng will surely cherish this bloodied beanie baby once he hands it to them. it might not sell well right away, but as a relic of this day... perhaps then.
if he can make it there.
his shoulder the way it is, seodore has little trouble disarming him. but even getting hit over the head with this hefty case - his skull audibly crunches - doesn't immediately put him down. ]
You... [ he lifts his face to look at seodore, before lunging with his good leg to tackle him. ]
well, chihiro has one tiny. welt has one tiny. seodore has... an indeterminate number of tinies... perhaps zero? perhaps?
behind you, you will see that the exit doors are shining an odd glowy pink color, showing not the parking lot, but a void. a familiar shiny pink void, much like the one that yoru, therion and jiaoqiu were yeeted out of at mach fuck. it is your way out of this place... if you can get out of this place alive. :)
you're starting to remember who you are - it's kind of fuzzy (especially for welt who just got crunched in the noggin) and what you're doing. do you really want to be murdering each other right now... or do you want to be escaping...?
with tiny, of course. no matter what you remember you know you gotta get the fuck out of here with tiny. ]
[The FUCK he thought you were COOL and...wait, they haven't even really talked why would he think this, again. WHY WOULDN'T Seodore want to murder Welt for a small dog plushie.]
[Either way, this is NOT JUSTICE!!! He might have a whole pink void to go to, but-]
[He's Chihiro Rokuhira, and Chihiro Rokuhira protects the weak and destroys evil.]
[Time to fucking go and try to NAB Seodore with his only hand to wrench him and then fucking. Kick him right in the fucking head.]
[ The shiny pink void appears, Chihiro kicks him on the back of his head, and Welt lunges at him.
All he can think of is how he promised Rumeld, his deceased husband that he would take care of the kids after he was gone. He has to take care of them, feed them, raise them--all seven. If he could sell all these Tinys, he would have enough money to do that. Why did they even choose to raise seven children who looked like Seodore? Because Rumeld was a softie, and he wanted to give them a good life. All of them were adopted, and he wanted to care for them so much until he met his end.
Seodore would do anything for Rumeld. That was his wish at his deathbed. He will carry it out accordingly. Even if he isn't the type to murder others just because. At most, he had caused disorder and chaos, but straight up murder? No. Never.
But he has eight Tinys in his rifle case. Right. He can feed them all. He can pay their college tuition without taking out a loan. All in exchange of a neighbor's Tiny? Is this thing really worth the life of his neighbor that he's grown close to over the years? And to betray another one?
Yes.
No one else is higher than Rumeld. Rumeld's wishes are his top priority.
Despite being attacked, he slams the rifle case, full of eight Tinys and its original weight one more time onto Welt's head. he's sure that it would cave his skull in this time. His Tiny will be his. His. Then he can scalp them for profit. He can realize the wish. he can take care of the seven children--
But then he remembers.
This is not what what Rumeld died for, nor it's what he wanted. Clarity starts gracing Seodore's obnoxiously red eyes and he realizes what he's done.
[ welt yang has died many times, now. has rewritten his body through the power of the core of reason, before he passed it on and retained the copy of the star of eden in lieu of it. but the cane housing it is no longer in his hands - lost, somewhere, between nueva bork and kmart - and he does not hold onto his immortality without the core.
he's not a herrscher of reason any longer. he's just a father of four, loving husband, and funnies comic author in this version of events, this black friday massacre of 1999.
but he's still hard to put down. seodore hits him over the head, and the crunch is louder, this time, and the result is a wet noise when seodore pulls back his weapon and treasure trove. his body curls around the precious tiny -
and then he groans, because himeko is going to kill him herself for not returning - not to their apartment in the building they share with chihiro and seodore, but to the astral express. ]
... m'not dying... in this place... [ slurring his words, and forcing himself upright onto his hands and knees no matter the pain. ] Let's... let's go...
[ chihiro's kick on seodore lands - maybe that's what makes him remember.
the three of you - welt, staggering, chihiro, missing an arm, and seodore, left with the horrors of the violence he has just committed, realize in this moment that you have to, have to get back to nueva bork.
the sparkly, pink void awaits you.
each of you return back with one (1) Tiny in your shaking hands to return to Nueva Bork. you return with all of your injuries, a lot of guilt, and... that's it. dang...
wait, one more thing! for the next 24 hours, you will also intermittently believe that you are living your AU life still.
congratulations on escaping your fun adventure! :) ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
gamechangers) wrote2024-10-02 01:12 pm
IT BEGINS...
and... you're flat on your back outside! when you sit up, you realize a couple of things.
1. it is frosty cold outside, though maybe warmer than it has been the past few repetitive days - there's no snow on the ground. you see none of the others that were trapped in the city's loop just moments before, save for the two people besides yourself.
2. you're in a sleeping bag, and you can feel the weight of your wallet in your pocket.
3. you know, instinctively, that it is November 26th, 1999, roughly four-thirty in the morning, and you are waiting for something.
when you look around, you can see a few people behind you. mothers, parents, maybe even a couple of familiar faces. however, in front of you... you realize that you are near the end of a line. a long line. something thrums and buzzes through the air, a sense of excitement, or at least of anticipation.
in the distance, you can see the thrumming neon sign of KMART.
this... is still nueva bork, isn't it? you're still in nueva bork. you think. you've always been here, haven't you? you worked hard to earn enough money to live in the city. to... support your families? yes. to support your families. the three of you are neighbors, all from the same apartment building, but you can't recall being stuck in a time loop. or too much of anything at all about the life you lived before this place. you did, however, come to this place with a purpose, all together.
the stage is set. tell me a little about the life that you live in this city - beyond that, let's decide. what do you want to do first? ]
no subject
[As he comes too and gets a re(?)understanding of his surroundings, he thinks of her....Char, the little girl he's been looking after for more than a year. She turned up hungry and cold at his doorstep one day, and he, the bleeding heart, decided to take her in. He's lived a humble life, making little wooden figurines to sell on the sides of the roads. He specializes in sculptures of fish. Goldfish. They're really good goldfish sculptures.]
[He wonders if Hakuri, the nice young man who lives next to him, is looking after Char right this moment, though checking the time, probably they're both asleep. Chihiro squints at his Batman-themed watch. Yeah. It's early.]
....I wonder if this line is going to move already.
[He murmurs. Char told him about this, and he can't let her down. He'd do anything for that little girl. He'd even kill a man. (Well....no, yeah, he would.)]
no subject
He checks his watch. It's way too early, but he sees Chihiro awake for some reason. ]
Mm, it will be once it opens...? When does it open again? Also, why are you awake? Can't sleep?
no subject
the family photo of him and himeko surrounded by their children - two grey-haired, golden-eyed twins with mischievous glints in their eyes; the sweetest and brightest bubblegum girl in the world; and a stoic, shy dark-haired boy clinging to welt's leg - greets him, but so does a list from each individual besides himself. four wishlists in childish scrawl, and one more organized one compiled by both him and himeko for the proper shopping to be done after. ]
Doesn't hurt to start getting moving early to warm ourselves up, I think. It's going to be a long morning once they open the doors.
no subject
by now, you might have remembered why you're here, why there's such an exciting buzz in the air. today is, of course, black friday. and more importantly, the kmart ahead of you was chosen in a super-special corporate lottery by the most illustrious of companies. and therefore, the kmart in front of you is the only place the entirety of the country that you all have absolutely lived in that has the ultimate prize.
behold: Tiny.
you see, each year, only thirty-six of each beanie baby is released to each store. since this is the only store, that means that tiny the chihuahua, adorable eyes and poem on the tag and all, is the single rarest beanie baby on the market. and you all want that beanie baby. welt, seodore, chihiro - you all want that beanie baby. the problem is... so does every single other person in this line. you would think they'd be here for other black friday deals, but no.
it's all about tiny.
the countdown clock at the front of the store is just visible from your far back position. there's roughly ten minutes until the front doors open, and the three of you are absolutely not the first 36 people in this line. not that that necessarily means anything. you can strategize. you might still be able to bring home that chihuahua prize.
that thrum of excitement remains in the air. in front of you, a few people down, you an excitedly hear two parents talking about how much "little jiaoqiu would just LOVE to have a Tiny, i promised him!" and "did you see little char's halloween costume this year, with the tiny ears and the tag? bless her heart!" and someone else with a thick german accent describing the fact that his world class athleticism means he's guaranteed to be at the front as soon as the doors open.
this beanie baby is, as you know, a big fucking deal.
you've got about ten IC minutes to decide on your game plan, or even talk to some people around you. ]
no subject
[Char has been begging for it for AGES, it seems. It would rock her whole world It would make her the most popular girl in the neighborhood. And you, as her caretaker, have pledged to do anything in the world to keep her safe and sound and happy, other people be Damned!]
[(Hakuri has also been begging for one, but hey, if you get one, you think he and Char can share.)]
She was cute.
[He murmurs, smiling a bit at the exclamation, but anyways...it's game time. He's ready to go. He's a fast sort, and he's going to weave and dive between the others to try to get in front. If people trip or fall? Their problem. Tiny only. Tiny the only thing ever.]
Early bird gets the worm.
[He'll glance at the other two, but he's too busy wrapping up his sleeping bag so he can be unfettered, free for Tiny acquisition.]
no subject
[ He yawns. Seodore really should have had more sleep the previous night and is rgeretting it a little. Alas. You can't do much when the youngest child sometimes acts like a cat and wakes you up randomly past midnight every single night.
He might look like a twink, but he thinks he can beat out the "world class athleticism" that the person claims that they have. Physical education was really the only thing he was good at in school and it still holds true. The sleeping bag will be ditched here, since he doubts anyone would just take it with the frenzy that's about to happen. ]
Haha, you two aren't nervous at all...
no subject
[ it's said with a little chuckle, so it's a bit of a joke, but welt at least does roll up the sleeping bag after pocketing his lists and wallet separately so that it can be set aside. he'll come back for it later, but it's not his priority at the moment. what is his priority is those adoring faces looking up at him last night before he left their building to get in line.
at least one tiny must come home, if not two. it would bring a lot of joy for the upcoming holidays and numerous birthdays if he could manage that for them, and then some. he looks to the two of them, barely sparing the source of the german accent a glance - the stranger won't stand a chance, he decides. ]
Any game plans for the two of you, gentlemen? I'd like to see that we all make it to the toy aisle in time to get everyone their small friend. [ keep the peace in the building between all the kids. ]
no subject
one more tag round to discuss your plans. ]
no subject
[And yes, game plans. His red eyes flit over to the rest, squinting at the mention of bear traps, and...well. While he wants to get Tiny SO Freaking Bad, he is not the type to cause too much chaos, either. He doesn't want to REALLY harm anyone. The last thing he needs is a lawsuit or worse, jail.]
[A little sigh.]
Quickest route possible. I went last week and mapped it out. [Hmmph.] I don't want to mess around with those traps. I'll avoid them. Last thing I need is to be slowed down.
[He's thinking of maybe going by the hunting section and grabbing something there...maybe a boat oar just to Scare People Off.]
no subject
[ If they even see them anyway. ]
I'm a fan of spilling soapy water and knocking over stands to block the path. I can probably grab some detergent on my way there.
no subject
Not such a terrible idea. [ he picks it back up and holds it under his arm calmly, listening to the chatter and watching the others in the line with a critical eye. welt is looking for that cocky german, like maybe he'll knock them over on the way in on principle.
competition, incoming. ]
If you would like to lead the way, Mr. Chihiro, I would be glad to assist in clearing the path until we can get our hands on such a non-lethal trap as Mr. Seodore suggests. [ but the moment that he sees something that he can use to keep distance between him and any attackers, much like chihiro he's going to grab hold of it. his voice lowers for the two of them. ] They'll also be fighting amongst themselves, I'm sure, so we can use that to our advantage. Allow them to think that someone grabbed up three or four of the dogs, far more than their share, and distract them this way.
no subject
10...9...8...7...6
[ the crowd begins to count down as the countdown clock on display at the front of the store starts to get closer to the hour. 5:00, the doors open. (and weirdly, you get a sudden sense of deja vu, like you've watched an ominous countdown fairly recently?). the people around you start to tense up - you can hear shoes scratching lightly at the pavement as people ready themselves to run. the occasional sound of metal (what? that's definitely normal) and the slow sounds of the security guards at the front positioning themselves at the doors. the halogen lights of the kmart hum on.
welt, in lookin for the cocky german accented guy... you can't find him? not yet. weird. maybe he's just really short. well, i'm sure it's fine.
in the meantime, a sign is taped unceremoniously to the glass paneling, just close enough that you can see. ONE TINY PER CUSTOMER. we'll see if anyone actually follows that rule. ]
5....4....3....
[ you all prepare yourselves. you think of the children. ]
...2...1....!
BOOM!
[ and with a cacophonous noise, the doors to the kmart slam open and there's a massive rush of human bodies immediately begins booking it for the front doors of this great value paradise. you all are swept up into the crowd of runners - the bodies are smashing together, everyone pushing and shoving and desperately attempting to get to the front of the group and into the store. there's at least a hundred people in front of you, and thirty or so behind you. all three of you find yourselves pushed, shoved, and tugged in nearly every direction, and the kmart feels like its a thousand miles away.
your first job is to find a way to get through this crush.
as a bonus! chihiro, you feel someone shove into you from the back - a tiny Karen with a fantastic nineties haircut that you recognize from down the street. she shrieks OUT OF MY WAY, GAYBOY!! and pulls a pocketknife. it's been five minutes? yikes. ok, so maybe you have to deal with that obstacle too. ]
no subject
[Okay this was way more of a rush than he was expecting. His cool edgy demeanor ready for any tasks is clearly a little off kilter here in the rush, especially when a small lady comes up to him, calls him a gayboy, and brandishes a knife.]
[Well, THAT'S rude! Not like he's soulmate bonded to Hakuri next door and hasn't told him his feelings yet but maybe one day he will over a candlelit dinner and and give Char another father figure in her lif- you know what? YOU KNOW WHAT? Hakuri would tell him to fucking get this lady out of here!]
[He's absolutely going to whing a sideways punch at her side and try to grab the knife, and regardless of how that happens, he needs to get Tiny, so he's going to move forward with his initial plan.]
no subject
seodore, immediately turning to see: oh it's not me
Anyway.
Chihiro doesn't need to be stabbed right now?? He sees some people getting stampeded over and tries not to focus on that, but on the current predicament. After Chihiro swings a punch, Seodore attempts to shove the lady to the other side. They need distance and quick. ]
Chihiro, run ahead!
[ Is the youngest also the fastest? Maybe? Anyway, he'll leave it up to him!! ]
no subject
his innate fatherly instinct has him swinging his sleeping bag like a squishy but dense battering ram to wallop people out of the way, to hopefully give chihiro room to move out of knifing range while seodore shoves at karen. MAKE WAY FOR THE GAYBOYS. ]
If human decency is out the window, very well - perhaps you all need a lesson! Move!
no subject
when chihiro is having his gay protagonist moment of realization about his beloved next door neighbor, nineties karen swings her pocketknife. as he reaches to grab it, the pocketknife stabs him right through the hand. blood spurts out from the injury - the lady cackles in glee and yanks the pocketknife out, then she starts to try and push past...
...seodore, who also failed! she succeeds in knocking your ass over into the crowd of stampeding people and slips past the both of you. for a second, you think you might be completely swept over as people start trampling over you. you can NOT die here. you haven't even gotten inside yet.
seodore, you hear welt yelling over your head, and welt got a partial success! that means that while karen gets away through the crowd crush and skitters off to go cause more mania, you are able to smack aside two men who are squawking about LIMITED EDITION! just in front of you, clearing a tiny path for the three of you to try and press forward, and ideally a chance for seodore to scramble back to his feet. the guys yelling about limited edition go down, and you hear a sickening crunch of a body being crushed, but honestly. fucking scalpers, they deserved it!
you're a little more than halfway to the kmart with this intervention and the crowd pushing behind you. the first two lines of people have broken through the doors. you're solidly middle of the pack, and the interior of the store is close enough that with one more push in the crowd, you might be able to break through.
since welt is at the front of the group, he'll hear the sound of a tire iron swinging through the air in a shing!. there's a guy coming up on the group's left side attempting to clear out the crowd by causing concussions, and he's got a line of fallen beanie baby warriors behind him, because he has been successful up to this point. it looks like he's got a bone to pick with you, glasses. you're in his way.
roll two d6s each of you to determine your level of success to making it inside the store/dealing with tire iron boy/anything else you want to do! ]
no subject
[Wow, that hurts! Chihiro balks at the pain in his hand, but it can't be helped - nothing will stop him from getting Tiny. Not Karens, not homophobia, not a giant disco chalupa coming to smash them all. What was that last one? Eh, just something random.]
Thanks, Welt-!
[He'll ignore the pain, moving forward in this utter chaos. But then...the sound. Chihiro will shift back, and, with his bloody hand, take his sleeping bag and try to throw it right at the tire iron guy as he tries to squeeze forward. Fucking Hell.]
no subject
He claps his hands loud together just once, but done in a way that makes a loud popping-like sound and yells loudly: ]
THEY MOVED TINY TO THE EASTERN PART OF THE STORE!!
[ He's assuming it's actually up north. Also, of course, he's lying. He wants to shift the direction of this crowd so bad. ]
no subject
[ except, now he sees that there's someone with a tire iron, and he briefly wonders why he didn't think to get his out of the minivan? alas, it's in the next lot over instead of the kmart parking lot, to ensure that there would be no vandals, and it wouldn't be trapped in the stream of cars trying to leave this lot, but...
well, he tightens his grip on the only thing that he has. ]
Quick, to Tiny! To the east side! [ echoing seodore's lie as he rears back with the sleeping back to thrust it forward, trying to intercept the next tire iron swing if he can. maybe if he can wrench it out of the maniac's hands... ]
no subject
my sweet chihiro rolled a fail yet again, so when he throws the sleeping bag, it just misses the tire iron guy entirely. he swings his tire iron at welt and cracks him in the shoulder, hard. but you know what, that's okay!
seodore and welt, since you are both attempting the same thing.... well. the crowd hears seodore's voice, as loud as a gunshot. there's some muttering in the crush of the crowd, that turns to yelling and panicking - East?! East side?! East side?!" "They moved him?! The bastards! I'll slaughter them!" "TINY TO THE SURVIVORS!"
and about half the crowd starts to move to the east, splitting free from the main group and clearing a path for you all to actually enter the store with some muchneeded breathing room. the three of you clear through the doors of the kmart, and the landscape before you is... chaos.
the toy section beckons you in the background, and there's one easy path directly to it! well, there was, at least. but stnading in the center of that aisle is a massive, life size figure of optim*s prime. behind it, the rest of the aisle is on fire.
however! you all planned ahead, or at least may have. as you know, there are many sections between you and the holy land of tiny's stuffed animal shelf display. to the left, the men's clothing section, the trap section and the sporting goods section. to the right, the hunting section, the home goods section, and the Clearance Section. you can choose where you want to go!
beyond that, there are many shopping carts in disarray. boxes and displays have been knocked over, and there's still a very large group of shoppers rushing for the toy section. the very first group of people appear to be almost to the back stuffed animal aisle. ]
no subject
[Chihiro almost falls from the impact, but recovers just in time as the chaos shifts away to the east section. At least they have room to move. He grits his teeth, casting his gaze between the two sides-]
Why the hell is it on fire...?
[Whatever. No changes in plans. No hesitations.]
Going through the Clearance section-!
[And so he does - HE AIN'T MESSING WITH NO TRAPS.]
no subject
Welt, pick anything except the home goods section!
[ Because he's going there. He sprints on over, stealing some christmas tree glass bauble ornaments off the racks and if there are any NPCs following him, he'll toss one at their face. NPCs in front of him too. Get out of his way!!!
He doesn't want Welt to be affected by the glass shards, okay.
Then he steals a painting. ]
no subject
the other two break off from the group, and he takes a deep breath to steel himself. right. ]
Do try to stay out of trouble! [ and then he tosses his sleeping bag into a shopping cart, grabbing it and using it akin to a battering ram for any displays or people in his way without having to use his injured arm. he's also planning to use it to protect his feet and legs from any traps anyone's decided to throw down, heading towards the
hunting section.
if nothing else, he can find something to scare someone off - and in a worst case scenario, he's not afraid to defend himself or his neighbors in this chaos. ]
no subject
not many people choose to go through the clearance. only the most judicious of deal hunters, and the bravest of men, dare to hunt through the clearance of the kmart. with your partial success, you realize that the clearance section is... actually the fastest way to get to the Tiny Display! your beanie baby future is maybe in sight, chihiro.......
the problem is that the clearance is halloween. spooky season is over and mariah carey season has begun. as you run through the clearance section at top speed, you hear an ominous noise - not from your fellow shoppers, but... was that a revving? you turn over your shoulder, and standing there is ... this guy. he's wearing a nice kmart employee apron, and there's a badge on his chest that says "rate my customer service!" he raises his chainsaw.
and then he lunges at chihiro! CHAINSAW MAN!
seodore, meanwhile! your full success means that it's relatively quick to cruise through the home goods section - you find the christmas display at the front and slap down the baubles, leaving glass behind you. someone who followed screams as they eat shit and fall on the glass - you think you hear a baby crying when they do? did someone bring their baby to this? what the hell? - but for the most part, you're able to shove past the ones behind you easily and make a break for the end of the home good section. there's a very determined man who you recognize as a dedicated family man with a sick daughter who desperately wants Tiny for her. you can't let him have tiny. that fucker. bastard. his back is to you because he is so desperately running for the rack, which is nearing your line of sight.
welt makes his way down the hunting section. with his partial success, he is able to run on his shopping cart and absolutely fucking ram someone out of his way and directly into the flames behind optim*s pr*me as he lunges through the hunting section. the first thing he'll see are several other NPCs with the same idea, including the school principal where your darling children attend school. there's a huge gun rack and a display of bullets in a glass case, and even some bows and arrows, and...a stun gun? nearby, a woman wearing an I <3 TINY tshirt rips a machete off the wall and starts running for the stuffed animals in the background. she has blood on her face already, and she cuts down a nice white haired grandma, whose body lands in front of your cart.
also in the section is a lifesize deer with a massive six point rack, for target practice. the deer looks at you. wait. it looks at you? oh, yeah. it's alive. and boy, it does not look happy! ]
no subject
[SO THIS IS FUCKING CHAINSAW MAN]
[Wait, why would he know this. Who is Chainsaw Man. A devil? A demon? A man? A man full of secrets? Whatever. He's NOT going to stand in front of him and happy Char! Damn it all! He'll lose his arm if he has to!!]
[He is grabbing a Batarang accessory off the aisle, and just launches it back with all the force he can at his neck, all while trying to make a break for it. BATMAN, BITCH.]
DON'T STAND IN MY DAMN WAY!
no subject
Seodore isn't a dedicated family man. In fact, his husband was a lot better at this family thing than he was. And now that he's dead, it's up to Seodore to take care of them. Does he want to? He has to. He can't let this guy have Tiny.
So while this man has his sights on the rack, he attempts to trip him up on the way with the painting of his. He's being merciful and not breaking his spine with it, so maybe that's good??? ]
no subject
welt has to pause for a moment, regarding the creature as well as the school principal out of his peripheral. he gauges his options here, feeling no immediate remorse for the person that he sent into the flames - perhaps later, but it's black friday; what were they expecting? - but he does frown at the thought of throwing the principal to the metaphorical wolves.
well, he has to. ]
Look, everyone, a limited edition, XL Christmas Tiny with push-to-talk actions! [ and he points at the deer, hoping for the stupidity of a mob to kick in as he shoves the shopping cart on the trail of the machete woman and tries to book it back to the display case of guns and ammo. ]
no subject
first of all, he grabs that batarang and absolutely flings it at the Chainsaw Man, who lunges after him in the same moment. the batarang zips through the air, powered by a man's love for his sweet daughter, and it slices straight through the chainsaw man's neck. his head separates from his body (neat!) and unfortunately, his chainsaw was already in motion, which means that his chainsaw slices through chihiro's forearm, cutting it off at the elbow!
Ow!
hey the good news is he's right next to the stuffed animals, now.
seodore gets a complete success! so he swings that painting up onto the other man's legs - and there's a resounding crack. the man screams, because you have broken his femurs. both of them. as you clear him, leaping past his desperation, you realize a second later that he has a gun, and in his desperation for his daughter, he fires it. by some miracle, you manage to avoid the bullet beyond a graze, and you round the corner to reach the display.
welt's complete success means this absolutely bullshit lie completely works, because like five more npcs look up, their heads snapping up from where they're making their way to the back of the store. the deer whips its head to the side and snorts, and welt can take advantage of the chaos to slip out of the way and run to the guns and ammo case. it's currently locked. no one thought to try and smash it open yet? you can also see the stuffed animal section, and it is close, now. you can also hear the screams of the woman who you hit with the shopping cart. isn't that susan from your bridge club? oops. well, she cheats anyway.
both seodore and chihiro have reached the toy section, and welt is close enough to see the current chaos. there's the tiny display. of the original 36 tinies, there are, in his vision, roughly 10 left. and there are so many people desperately crawling over each other and trying to get to the ten tinies on the top shelves. bodies are hitting the floor. a lady screams "THIS IS FOR TICKLE ME ELMO LAST YEAR, YOU BITCH! as she swings a crowbar at another woman, sending her careening down to the ground in a spray of blood. there are two people fistfighting just below that. another one is trying to claw someone's eyes out. my god.
the workers at the cashier just down the way are cowering in fright, waiting at the blood soaked checkout. it seems if you can win your prize, you can run to checkout and run straight to the exit... if you can win your prize! ]
no subject
[This bloodloss eventually is going to be a problem. It's not a problem now. (It is a problem now). But what's an arm, compared with a child's happiness?]
[He can't falter now. Stepping up probably over other people's backs as swift as he can, Chihiro uses his free hand to try to swipe up at where he expects the little dogs to be, adrenaline in his veins. Only Tiny matters. Only Tiny, the All-Seeing.]
[Really, this does feel like he's been unwittingly entered into some sort of cult. Anyways! He's going to get his DOG, other people DAMNED and he's going to run to the exit.]
no subject
By the time Seodore is also rushing to the front of the store through the hunting aisle, there's one more Tiny left. These people are quick little buggers, aren't they? ]
no subject
they're in his way of getting a tiny.
no.
they're in the way of him getting two tiny, the little bastard and its heart tag and all. he must get two. he hopes that some of the remaining eight will be awarded to chihiro and seodore, but those two? those two will be his. one for the children to share, and one to go up on eBay once he fixes his probably dislocated shoulder and cleans the blood from his clothes.
he grabs the nearest object to break the glass of the gun display, grabbing a hunting rifle out and a box of ammo to go with it. if it's not loaded - it's the 90s what do i know, they probably load the display guns in this godless era - he'll load it. and he'll terminator walk towards the promiseland heralded by ty warner, firing a warning shot into the air. ]
no subject
you realize that there is only one tiny left. One. The Tiny Who Death Forgot. the other ones just disappeared out of thin air. and the crowd breaks into an absolute frenzy, starting to shriek and tear at each other, starting to literally climb the shelves. since you're at the top, chihiro, you could grab the Final Tiny. now... you have to get back down.
what happened to the rest of the tinies? they vanished so quickly. hmm. perhaps they're among the crowd below...?
welt, with a complete success, you fucking terminator walk with your rifle. you know what? your rifle's already loaded, because you rolled well, so yeah. the crowd itself is losing it, screaming and yelling and now trying to grab chihiro, hoping to yank him back down. you hear a man scream, "WHO TOOK THEM" and another voice yell, "GIVE THAT BACK YOU SLUT!" you see seodore hit the woman in the spine with a painting, and then run past you, back into the hunting section. the woman screams in agony and grabs someone else by the legs, pulling them down into the writhing pile of human bodies below the altar of the Tiny.
the warning shot does nothing. they are lost to their reverie of shopping. however, when you look down, you notice a single, bloodied Tiny on the floor, looking at you with its giant, soulful beanie baby eyes.
seodore! your completes success means, as mentioned above, your well timed painting throw nails that lady in the spine, and you... turn around and book it for the exit, heading back for the hunting section. the "XL Christmas Tiny" gang is contending with the deer in this section at the moment, and the angry creature picks up a woman wearing a "I <3 MY SON" shirt and flings her gored corpse at seodore using its antlers as he starts dashing through the hunting section. right now... something seems to be slowing your final exit down...
what are you hunting for in the section, seodore? ]
no subject
[Technically, this is all he needs. Just the one Tiny. But....does he want to give it to Hakuri? Hakuri of the blue eyes and winsome smile?]
[Hakuri can share. It's fine. God, this stump hurts. Sorry, lady he's bleeding on. He'll slide the little toy into his coat with his only hand, before he's just going to go. Fuck It. Time to kick the shelf as hard as he can, and try his best to slide down the human pile of chaos here like this is a snowbank of Karens.]
[He needs to leave.]
[HE ALSO NEEDS A FUCKING HOSPITAL.]
no subject
Anyway, he takes a moment to breathe in--a short reprieve in this madness inside a KMart while studying the people who stand between him and the exit. After he's done with his short break, he swings the heavy case at the sides of people who are in the way as he sprints towards the registers. ]
no subject
welt frowns and cocks the shotgun again to expel the wasted shells and reload, scooping up the single tiny on the ground and shoving it into his jacket at his breast to ensure its further safety. close to his heart, bloodied and battered as he is - tiny is a reflection of all, it seems. what horrors have its beady little eyes seen? does it miss being south of the border, out in the sun? where tiny the chihuahua could have fun?
anyways. with that taken care of, he aims the shotgun ahead, so that he can help seodore clear the path for them to get the fuck out of here. one is better than none, he supposes. ]
Hurry, Chihiro!
[ but now all his focus is ahead and i finally goddamn rolled low. take me out, tiny dancer. ]
no subject
chihiro, you have obtained +1 tiny, and so much bloodloss. but you are going to make char so, so happy. your tiny is not bloodstained - it is pristine and wonderful, and you feel so warm and safe when you take it in your hands. despite all of your bloodloss, you are moving, and safely, you make your way down the World's Worst Slide of people. in fact, you do so smoothly that you avoid getting scratched, bitten, kicked, hit or stabbed the entire way down. your feet touch the ground.
the cashier is just ahead. one single man clutching a Tiny in his hands pays the cash register and sprints out of the door at mach fuck. otherwise, there is no one in your way.
welt! with chihiro taken care of and your bloodied dog safely in your coat, you feel as if the chihuahua misses nothing, because this is what it wants. to come home with you! (or the bloodshed? not sure which.) instead, you aim your shotgun and you fire, hitting another woman from your bridge club right between the eyes. what a great shot! because you are focused ahead, you miss the fact that a white haired woman wearing a shirt that says #1 FOX TOPPER and screaming bloody murder comes rushing at you, and swings a hammer at your knee from behind, slamming into the bone and shattering it. ouchies!
you've cleared the path for chihiro, and seodore has his big case! he's so ready to help! he smashes his big case into an npc and slaps them back into the deer - though you are now drenched in blood, you're doing pretty okay for injuries, and headed straight for the registers. the only three people left on the run for the registers are chihiro, welt, and the lady who just attacked welt from behind. that's it. and you're empty handed, but... at least the other two have tinies, right? teamwork! ]
no subject
[But he can't help but turn back towards the other two. Those, who have helped him get the god of all time (GOAT...wait, Tiny is a dog).]
[He will get to the cashier. But first, he will pick up whatever he sees next to him. Oh, look, it's a Walkman. Who brought music to this place? Wanted their own murder playlist? Wait, this just looks like it has ABBA's Greatest Hits. Nice.]
[He's going to YEET it as hard as he can to the white haired woman behind Welt, before moving to the cashier, his vision swimming.]
COME ON! Let's GO!
[IT'S TIME TO B-B-B-B-BUY THAT TINY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
no subject
no subject
welt yells out in surprised pain, staggering forward and taking his not-damaged knee. but he's down, not out, and chihiro and seodore do their best to give their aid - which he appreciates, and will show once they get the hell out of here.
he swings the rifle around to aim directly at the woman's chest, pulling the trigger despite their proximity. it's worth a shot (ha ha) in case it at least scares her off before she brains him.
hoolay sends his regards. ]
no subject
well okay!! first of all, chihiro flings that walkman with all of his one armed might. unfortunately, the walkman is not the batarang. you can all hear "YEEEESSSSSS I'VE BEEN BROKEN HEAAARTEEEEDDD" play through the headphones attached to this thing as it sails through the air, and the crazy hot lady taking out welt's kneecaps dodges it like the terminator. because that weird german accent you heard was her. because she is the terminator.
anyway. seodore is running to slam his case into the lady's side, and the woman lashes out at him with the hammer, swinging at his body and landing a hit on his side, past the case. she's a maniac! she's so strong! she's so buff! she's so sexy!
and welt pulls the trigger with his rifle even though he is in pain. he shoots, and though it seemed like he was going to miss, thankfully, seodore's smack of the woman is enough to move her over, so his shot punctures right through her chest. her shirt now says "NUMBER ONE FOX (HOLE) TOPPER" because there's a hole in the middle there. she flies off of welt and hits the ground, and for a moment, there is silence.
it looks like you can pay. chihiro, the terrified worker takes your money, and you receive a receipt. you are the proud owner of a tiny. welt, all you have to do is get up and do the same. maybe seodore will help you up? ]
no subject
[He is probably literally doing that one Tokyo Ghoul meme gazing into the distance....he's done it...they've done it.........they've won.]
[He takes one step.]
[Puts the receipt in his pocket.]
[And waits for the other two, because as much as he has had success.....]
[He can't leave them behind.]
[mY heart will go on..... Hilary Duff]
no subject
no subject
if he can make it there.
his shoulder the way it is, seodore has little trouble disarming him. but even getting hit over the head with this hefty case - his skull audibly crunches - doesn't immediately put him down. ]
You... [ he lifts his face to look at seodore, before lunging with his good leg to tackle him. ]
no subject
well, chihiro has one tiny. welt has one tiny. seodore has... an indeterminate number of tinies... perhaps zero? perhaps?
behind you, you will see that the exit doors are shining an odd glowy pink color, showing not the parking lot, but a void. a familiar shiny pink void, much like the one that yoru, therion and jiaoqiu were yeeted out of at mach fuck. it is your way out of this place... if you can get out of this place alive. :)
you're starting to remember who you are - it's kind of fuzzy (especially for welt who just got crunched in the noggin) and what you're doing. do you really want to be murdering each other right now... or do you want to be escaping...?
with tiny, of course. no matter what you remember you know you gotta get the fuck out of here with tiny. ]
no subject
[The FUCK he thought you were COOL and...wait, they haven't even really talked why would he think this, again. WHY WOULDN'T Seodore want to murder Welt for a small dog plushie.]
[Either way, this is NOT JUSTICE!!! He might have a whole pink void to go to, but-]
[He's Chihiro Rokuhira, and Chihiro Rokuhira protects the weak and destroys evil.]
[Time to fucking go and try to NAB Seodore with his only hand to wrench him and then fucking. Kick him right in the fucking head.]
[What's leaving, again?]
no subject
All he can think of is how he promised Rumeld, his deceased husband that he would take care of the kids after he was gone. He has to take care of them, feed them, raise them--all seven. If he could sell all these Tinys, he would have enough money to do that. Why did they even choose to raise seven children who looked like Seodore? Because Rumeld was a softie, and he wanted to give them a good life. All of them were adopted, and he wanted to care for them so much until he met his end.
Seodore would do anything for Rumeld. That was his wish at his deathbed. He will carry it out accordingly. Even if he isn't the type to murder others just because. At most, he had caused disorder and chaos, but straight up murder? No. Never.
But he has eight Tinys in his rifle case. Right. He can feed them all. He can pay their college tuition without taking out a loan. All in exchange of a neighbor's Tiny? Is this thing really worth the life of his neighbor that he's grown close to over the years? And to betray another one?
Yes.
No one else is higher than Rumeld. Rumeld's wishes are his top priority.
Despite being attacked, he slams the rifle case, full of eight Tinys and its original weight one more time onto Welt's head. he's sure that it would cave his skull in this time. His Tiny will be his. His. Then he can scalp them for profit. He can realize the wish. he can take care of the seven children--
But then he remembers.
This is not what what Rumeld died for, nor it's what he wanted. Clarity starts gracing Seodore's obnoxiously red eyes and he realizes what he's done.
... ]
no subject
he's not a herrscher of reason any longer. he's just a father of four, loving husband, and funnies comic author in this version of events, this black friday massacre of 1999.
but he's still hard to put down. seodore hits him over the head, and the crunch is louder, this time, and the result is a wet noise when seodore pulls back his weapon and treasure trove. his body curls around the precious tiny -
and then he groans, because himeko is going to kill him herself for not returning - not to their apartment in the building they share with chihiro and seodore, but to the astral express. ]
... m'not dying... in this place... [ slurring his words, and forcing himself upright onto his hands and knees no matter the pain. ] Let's... let's go...
PARTY'S OVER!!
the three of you - welt, staggering, chihiro, missing an arm, and seodore, left with the horrors of the violence he has just committed, realize in this moment that you have to, have to get back to nueva bork.
the sparkly, pink void awaits you.
each of you return back with one (1) Tiny in your shaking hands to return to Nueva Bork. you return with all of your injuries, a lot of guilt, and... that's it. dang...
wait, one more thing! for the next 24 hours, you will also intermittently believe that you are living your AU life still.
congratulations on escaping your fun adventure! :) ]