welt has to pause for a moment, regarding the creature as well as the school principal out of his peripheral. he gauges his options here, feeling no immediate remorse for the person that he sent into the flames - perhaps later, but it's black friday; what were they expecting? - but he does frown at the thought of throwing the principal to the metaphorical wolves.
well, he has to. ]
Look, everyone, a limited edition, XL Christmas Tiny with push-to-talk actions! [ and he points at the deer, hoping for the stupidity of a mob to kick in as he shoves the shopping cart on the trail of the machete woman and tries to book it back to the display case of guns and ammo. ]
[ chihiro nails another partial success. so a few things happen!
first of all, he grabs that batarang and absolutely flings it at the Chainsaw Man, who lunges after him in the same moment. the batarang zips through the air, powered by a man's love for his sweet daughter, and it slices straight through the chainsaw man's neck. his head separates from his body (neat!) and unfortunately, his chainsaw was already in motion, which means that his chainsaw slices through chihiro's forearm, cutting it off at the elbow!
Ow!
hey the good news is he's right next to the stuffed animals, now.
seodore gets a complete success! so he swings that painting up onto the other man's legs - and there's a resounding crack. the man screams, because you have broken his femurs. both of them. as you clear him, leaping past his desperation, you realize a second later that he has a gun, and in his desperation for his daughter, he fires it. by some miracle, you manage to avoid the bullet beyond a graze, and you round the corner to reach the display.
welt's complete success means this absolutely bullshit lie completely works, because like five more npcs look up, their heads snapping up from where they're making their way to the back of the store. the deer whips its head to the side and snorts, and welt can take advantage of the chaos to slip out of the way and run to the guns and ammo case. it's currently locked. no one thought to try and smash it open yet? you can also see the stuffed animal section, and it is close, now. you can also hear the screams of the woman who you hit with the shopping cart. isn't that susan from your bridge club? oops. well, she cheats anyway.
both seodore and chihiro have reached the toy section, and welt is close enough to see the current chaos. there's the tiny display. of the original 36 tinies, there are, in his vision, roughly 10 left. and there are so many people desperately crawling over each other and trying to get to the ten tinies on the top shelves. bodies are hitting the floor. a lady screams "THIS IS FOR TICKLE ME ELMO LAST YEAR, YOU BITCH! as she swings a crowbar at another woman, sending her careening down to the ground in a spray of blood. there are two people fistfighting just below that. another one is trying to claw someone's eyes out. my god.
the workers at the cashier just down the way are cowering in fright, waiting at the blood soaked checkout. it seems if you can win your prize, you can run to checkout and run straight to the exit... if you can win your prize! ]
[Well, he did it. He tempted fate. That's his arm gone. All for Tiny. Tiny, that bloodthirsty little god dog, asking for sacrifice. The Aztecs would weep.]
[This bloodloss eventually is going to be a problem. It's not a problem now. (It is a problem now). But what's an arm, compared with a child's happiness?]
[He can't falter now. Stepping up probably over other people's backs as swift as he can, Chihiro uses his free hand to try to swipe up at where he expects the little dogs to be, adrenaline in his veins. Only Tiny matters. Only Tiny, the All-Seeing.]
[Really, this does feel like he's been unwittingly entered into some sort of cult. Anyways! He's going to get his DOG, other people DAMNED and he's going to run to the exit.]
[ When Seodore reaches the holy land, he careens the painting at the women's spine who grieved for the loss of tickle me elmo last year. When there's another npc running this way, he throws another christmas glass bauble at their face and picks up a glass shard.
By the time Seodore is also rushing to the front of the store through the hunting aisle, there's one more Tiny left. These people are quick little buggers, aren't they? ]
[ welt is a reasonable man. he feels regret for the principal, probably about to be gored either by a deer or by the masses, not to be seen at his children's school once fall break ends. he doesn't feel much remorse for hitting his bridgemate susan, though, because she does cheat, and how did she think she could get away with it forever?
they're in his way of getting a tiny.
no.
they're in the way of him getting two tiny, the little bastard and its heart tag and all. he must get two. he hopes that some of the remaining eight will be awarded to chihiro and seodore, but those two? those two will be his. one for the children to share, and one to go up on eBay once he fixes his probably dislocated shoulder and cleans the blood from his clothes.
he grabs the nearest object to break the glass of the gun display, grabbing a hunting rifle out and a box of ammo to go with it. if it's not loaded - it's the 90s what do i know, they probably load the display guns in this godless era - he'll load it. and he'll terminator walk towards the promiseland heralded by ty warner, firing a warning shot into the air. ]
[ chihiro, with a partial success, you manage to clear the first round of clawing, screaming human men and women, desperately fighting to bask in the glory of tiny. you bleed on everyone in the process, and you're starting to feel incredibly woozy, but you safely dodge any further injury as you make it to the very top of the pile. you reach, reach, reach... and you find only air.
you realize that there is only one tiny left. One. The Tiny Who Death Forgot. the other ones just disappeared out of thin air. and the crowd breaks into an absolute frenzy, starting to shriek and tear at each other, starting to literally climb the shelves. since you're at the top, chihiro, you could grab the Final Tiny. now... you have to get back down.
what happened to the rest of the tinies? they vanished so quickly. hmm. perhaps they're among the crowd below...?
welt, with a complete success, you fucking terminator walk with your rifle. you know what? your rifle's already loaded, because you rolled well, so yeah. the crowd itself is losing it, screaming and yelling and now trying to grab chihiro, hoping to yank him back down. you hear a man scream, "WHO TOOK THEM" and another voice yell, "GIVE THAT BACK YOU SLUT!" you see seodore hit the woman in the spine with a painting, and then run past you, back into the hunting section. the woman screams in agony and grabs someone else by the legs, pulling them down into the writhing pile of human bodies below the altar of the Tiny.
the warning shot does nothing. they are lost to their reverie of shopping. however, when you look down, you notice a single, bloodied Tiny on the floor, looking at you with its giant, soulful beanie baby eyes.
seodore! your completes success means, as mentioned above, your well timed painting throw nails that lady in the spine, and you... turn around and book it for the exit, heading back for the hunting section. the "XL Christmas Tiny" gang is contending with the deer in this section at the moment, and the angry creature picks up a woman wearing a "I <3 MY SON" shirt and flings her gored corpse at seodore using its antlers as he starts dashing through the hunting section. right now... something seems to be slowing your final exit down...
what are you hunting for in the section, seodore? ]
[Oh, Tiny. Glorious Tiny, who looks down on Earth, on little mortal lives, and does not forgive. Oh Tiny of the Beady Eyes and marketable smallness, oh Tiny who asks for the endless gains of human misery.]
[Technically, this is all he needs. Just the one Tiny. But....does he want to give it to Hakuri? Hakuri of the blue eyes and winsome smile?]
[Hakuri can share. It's fine. God, this stump hurts. Sorry, lady he's bleeding on. He'll slide the little toy into his coat with his only hand, before he's just going to go. Fuck It. Time to kick the shelf as hard as he can, and try his best to slide down the human pile of chaos here like this is a snowbank of Karens.]
[ He needs some self-defense, so he tries to dodge the gored corpse flung at him and grabs a rifle case off the rack. Apparently they're really sturdy?? Looks at that. It's on sale!
Anyway, he takes a moment to breathe in--a short reprieve in this madness inside a KMart while studying the people who stand between him and the exit. After he's done with his short break, he swings the heavy case at the sides of people who are in the way as he sprints towards the registers. ]
[ DAMNIT. IT'S BLOODY. IT WON'T MAKE AS MUCH MONEY ON EBAY.
welt frowns and cocks the shotgun again to expel the wasted shells and reload, scooping up the single tiny on the ground and shoving it into his jacket at his breast to ensure its further safety. close to his heart, bloodied and battered as he is - tiny is a reflection of all, it seems. what horrors have its beady little eyes seen? does it miss being south of the border, out in the sun? where tiny the chihuahua could have fun?
anyways. with that taken care of, he aims the shotgun ahead, so that he can help seodore clear the path for them to get the fuck out of here. one is better than none, he supposes. ]
Hurry, Chihiro!
[ but now all his focus is ahead and i finally goddamn rolled low. take me out, tiny dancer. ]
chihiro, you have obtained +1 tiny, and so much bloodloss. but you are going to make char so, so happy. your tiny is not bloodstained - it is pristine and wonderful, and you feel so warm and safe when you take it in your hands. despite all of your bloodloss, you are moving, and safely, you make your way down the World's Worst Slide of people. in fact, you do so smoothly that you avoid getting scratched, bitten, kicked, hit or stabbed the entire way down. your feet touch the ground.
the cashier is just ahead. one single man clutching a Tiny in his hands pays the cash register and sprints out of the door at mach fuck. otherwise, there is no one in your way.
welt! with chihiro taken care of and your bloodied dog safely in your coat, you feel as if the chihuahua misses nothing, because this is what it wants. to come home with you! (or the bloodshed? not sure which.) instead, you aim your shotgun and you fire, hitting another woman from your bridge club right between the eyes. what a great shot! because you are focused ahead, you miss the fact that a white haired woman wearing a shirt that says #1 FOX TOPPER and screaming bloody murder comes rushing at you, and swings a hammer at your knee from behind, slamming into the bone and shattering it. ouchies!
you've cleared the path for chihiro, and seodore has his big case! he's so ready to help! he smashes his big case into an npc and slaps them back into the deer - though you are now drenched in blood, you're doing pretty okay for injuries, and headed straight for the registers. the only three people left on the run for the registers are chihiro, welt, and the lady who just attacked welt from behind. that's it. and you're empty handed, but... at least the other two have tinies, right? teamwork! ]
[The end is in sight. He's never believed in heaven before now, but it must be this. Chihiro looks up, sees the cashier, locks eyes...]
[But he can't help but turn back towards the other two. Those, who have helped him get the god of all time (GOAT...wait, Tiny is a dog).]
[He will get to the cashier. But first, he will pick up whatever he sees next to him. Oh, look, it's a Walkman. Who brought music to this place? Wanted their own murder playlist? Wait, this just looks like it has ABBA's Greatest Hits. Nice.]
[He's going to YEET it as hard as he can to the white haired woman behind Welt, before moving to the cashier, his vision swimming.]
COME ON! Let's GO!
[IT'S TIME TO B-B-B-B-BUY THAT TINY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
[ Seodore decides that he needs a loooong shower after all this. Seodore finally makes it to where they are and runs to immediately slam the case into the woman's side after Chihiro's yeeting. ]
[ our rolls are SHIT but maybe by our powers combined we can get the fuck out of this together?
welt yells out in surprised pain, staggering forward and taking his not-damaged knee. but he's down, not out, and chihiro and seodore do their best to give their aid - which he appreciates, and will show once they get the hell out of here.
he swings the rifle around to aim directly at the woman's chest, pulling the trigger despite their proximity. it's worth a shot (ha ha) in case it at least scares her off before she brains him.
well okay!! first of all, chihiro flings that walkman with all of his one armed might. unfortunately, the walkman is not the batarang. you can all hear "YEEEESSSSSS I'VE BEEN BROKEN HEAAARTEEEEDDD" play through the headphones attached to this thing as it sails through the air, and the crazy hot lady taking out welt's kneecaps dodges it like the terminator. because that weird german accent you heard was her. because she is the terminator.
anyway. seodore is running to slam his case into the lady's side, and the woman lashes out at him with the hammer, swinging at his body and landing a hit on his side, past the case. she's a maniac! she's so strong! she's so buff! she's so sexy!
and welt pulls the trigger with his rifle even though he is in pain. he shoots, and though it seemed like he was going to miss, thankfully, seodore's smack of the woman is enough to move her over, so his shot punctures right through her chest. her shirt now says "NUMBER ONE FOX (HOLE) TOPPER" because there's a hole in the middle there. she flies off of welt and hits the ground, and for a moment, there is silence.
it looks like you can pay. chihiro, the terrified worker takes your money, and you receive a receipt. you are the proud owner of a tiny. welt, all you have to do is get up and do the same. maybe seodore will help you up? ]
[ Chihiro is successful. It looks like Seodore is going over to Welt to help him up, but the first thing he does is kick the shotgun out of hands. The swing of the rifle case to the top of the head follows immediately. Mind you, this is still the guy who's still covered in blood. The hit from the hammer doesn't hinder anything. ]
[ chihiro is a good boy, looking out for others as he is. welt is sure that char will enjoy tiny, and appreciate him for all that he's managed to do to get it for her. the same as caelus, stelle, march, and dan heng will surely cherish this bloodied beanie baby once he hands it to them. it might not sell well right away, but as a relic of this day... perhaps then.
if he can make it there.
his shoulder the way it is, seodore has little trouble disarming him. but even getting hit over the head with this hefty case - his skull audibly crunches - doesn't immediately put him down. ]
You... [ he lifts his face to look at seodore, before lunging with his good leg to tackle him. ]
well, chihiro has one tiny. welt has one tiny. seodore has... an indeterminate number of tinies... perhaps zero? perhaps?
behind you, you will see that the exit doors are shining an odd glowy pink color, showing not the parking lot, but a void. a familiar shiny pink void, much like the one that yoru, therion and jiaoqiu were yeeted out of at mach fuck. it is your way out of this place... if you can get out of this place alive. :)
you're starting to remember who you are - it's kind of fuzzy (especially for welt who just got crunched in the noggin) and what you're doing. do you really want to be murdering each other right now... or do you want to be escaping...?
with tiny, of course. no matter what you remember you know you gotta get the fuck out of here with tiny. ]
[The FUCK he thought you were COOL and...wait, they haven't even really talked why would he think this, again. WHY WOULDN'T Seodore want to murder Welt for a small dog plushie.]
[Either way, this is NOT JUSTICE!!! He might have a whole pink void to go to, but-]
[He's Chihiro Rokuhira, and Chihiro Rokuhira protects the weak and destroys evil.]
[Time to fucking go and try to NAB Seodore with his only hand to wrench him and then fucking. Kick him right in the fucking head.]
[ The shiny pink void appears, Chihiro kicks him on the back of his head, and Welt lunges at him.
All he can think of is how he promised Rumeld, his deceased husband that he would take care of the kids after he was gone. He has to take care of them, feed them, raise them--all seven. If he could sell all these Tinys, he would have enough money to do that. Why did they even choose to raise seven children who looked like Seodore? Because Rumeld was a softie, and he wanted to give them a good life. All of them were adopted, and he wanted to care for them so much until he met his end.
Seodore would do anything for Rumeld. That was his wish at his deathbed. He will carry it out accordingly. Even if he isn't the type to murder others just because. At most, he had caused disorder and chaos, but straight up murder? No. Never.
But he has eight Tinys in his rifle case. Right. He can feed them all. He can pay their college tuition without taking out a loan. All in exchange of a neighbor's Tiny? Is this thing really worth the life of his neighbor that he's grown close to over the years? And to betray another one?
Yes.
No one else is higher than Rumeld. Rumeld's wishes are his top priority.
Despite being attacked, he slams the rifle case, full of eight Tinys and its original weight one more time onto Welt's head. he's sure that it would cave his skull in this time. His Tiny will be his. His. Then he can scalp them for profit. He can realize the wish. he can take care of the seven children--
But then he remembers.
This is not what what Rumeld died for, nor it's what he wanted. Clarity starts gracing Seodore's obnoxiously red eyes and he realizes what he's done.
[ welt yang has died many times, now. has rewritten his body through the power of the core of reason, before he passed it on and retained the copy of the star of eden in lieu of it. but the cane housing it is no longer in his hands - lost, somewhere, between nueva bork and kmart - and he does not hold onto his immortality without the core.
he's not a herrscher of reason any longer. he's just a father of four, loving husband, and funnies comic author in this version of events, this black friday massacre of 1999.
but he's still hard to put down. seodore hits him over the head, and the crunch is louder, this time, and the result is a wet noise when seodore pulls back his weapon and treasure trove. his body curls around the precious tiny -
and then he groans, because himeko is going to kill him herself for not returning - not to their apartment in the building they share with chihiro and seodore, but to the astral express. ]
... m'not dying... in this place... [ slurring his words, and forcing himself upright onto his hands and knees no matter the pain. ] Let's... let's go...
[ chihiro's kick on seodore lands - maybe that's what makes him remember.
the three of you - welt, staggering, chihiro, missing an arm, and seodore, left with the horrors of the violence he has just committed, realize in this moment that you have to, have to get back to nueva bork.
the sparkly, pink void awaits you.
each of you return back with one (1) Tiny in your shaking hands to return to Nueva Bork. you return with all of your injuries, a lot of guilt, and... that's it. dang...
wait, one more thing! for the next 24 hours, you will also intermittently believe that you are living your AU life still.
congratulations on escaping your fun adventure! :) ]
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gamechangers) wrote2024-10-02 01:12 pm
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welt has to pause for a moment, regarding the creature as well as the school principal out of his peripheral. he gauges his options here, feeling no immediate remorse for the person that he sent into the flames - perhaps later, but it's black friday; what were they expecting? - but he does frown at the thought of throwing the principal to the metaphorical wolves.
well, he has to. ]
Look, everyone, a limited edition, XL Christmas Tiny with push-to-talk actions! [ and he points at the deer, hoping for the stupidity of a mob to kick in as he shoves the shopping cart on the trail of the machete woman and tries to book it back to the display case of guns and ammo. ]
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first of all, he grabs that batarang and absolutely flings it at the Chainsaw Man, who lunges after him in the same moment. the batarang zips through the air, powered by a man's love for his sweet daughter, and it slices straight through the chainsaw man's neck. his head separates from his body (neat!) and unfortunately, his chainsaw was already in motion, which means that his chainsaw slices through chihiro's forearm, cutting it off at the elbow!
Ow!
hey the good news is he's right next to the stuffed animals, now.
seodore gets a complete success! so he swings that painting up onto the other man's legs - and there's a resounding crack. the man screams, because you have broken his femurs. both of them. as you clear him, leaping past his desperation, you realize a second later that he has a gun, and in his desperation for his daughter, he fires it. by some miracle, you manage to avoid the bullet beyond a graze, and you round the corner to reach the display.
welt's complete success means this absolutely bullshit lie completely works, because like five more npcs look up, their heads snapping up from where they're making their way to the back of the store. the deer whips its head to the side and snorts, and welt can take advantage of the chaos to slip out of the way and run to the guns and ammo case. it's currently locked. no one thought to try and smash it open yet? you can also see the stuffed animal section, and it is close, now. you can also hear the screams of the woman who you hit with the shopping cart. isn't that susan from your bridge club? oops. well, she cheats anyway.
both seodore and chihiro have reached the toy section, and welt is close enough to see the current chaos. there's the tiny display. of the original 36 tinies, there are, in his vision, roughly 10 left. and there are so many people desperately crawling over each other and trying to get to the ten tinies on the top shelves. bodies are hitting the floor. a lady screams "THIS IS FOR TICKLE ME ELMO LAST YEAR, YOU BITCH! as she swings a crowbar at another woman, sending her careening down to the ground in a spray of blood. there are two people fistfighting just below that. another one is trying to claw someone's eyes out. my god.
the workers at the cashier just down the way are cowering in fright, waiting at the blood soaked checkout. it seems if you can win your prize, you can run to checkout and run straight to the exit... if you can win your prize! ]
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[This bloodloss eventually is going to be a problem. It's not a problem now. (It is a problem now). But what's an arm, compared with a child's happiness?]
[He can't falter now. Stepping up probably over other people's backs as swift as he can, Chihiro uses his free hand to try to swipe up at where he expects the little dogs to be, adrenaline in his veins. Only Tiny matters. Only Tiny, the All-Seeing.]
[Really, this does feel like he's been unwittingly entered into some sort of cult. Anyways! He's going to get his DOG, other people DAMNED and he's going to run to the exit.]
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By the time Seodore is also rushing to the front of the store through the hunting aisle, there's one more Tiny left. These people are quick little buggers, aren't they? ]
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they're in his way of getting a tiny.
no.
they're in the way of him getting two tiny, the little bastard and its heart tag and all. he must get two. he hopes that some of the remaining eight will be awarded to chihiro and seodore, but those two? those two will be his. one for the children to share, and one to go up on eBay once he fixes his probably dislocated shoulder and cleans the blood from his clothes.
he grabs the nearest object to break the glass of the gun display, grabbing a hunting rifle out and a box of ammo to go with it. if it's not loaded - it's the 90s what do i know, they probably load the display guns in this godless era - he'll load it. and he'll terminator walk towards the promiseland heralded by ty warner, firing a warning shot into the air. ]
no subject
you realize that there is only one tiny left. One. The Tiny Who Death Forgot. the other ones just disappeared out of thin air. and the crowd breaks into an absolute frenzy, starting to shriek and tear at each other, starting to literally climb the shelves. since you're at the top, chihiro, you could grab the Final Tiny. now... you have to get back down.
what happened to the rest of the tinies? they vanished so quickly. hmm. perhaps they're among the crowd below...?
welt, with a complete success, you fucking terminator walk with your rifle. you know what? your rifle's already loaded, because you rolled well, so yeah. the crowd itself is losing it, screaming and yelling and now trying to grab chihiro, hoping to yank him back down. you hear a man scream, "WHO TOOK THEM" and another voice yell, "GIVE THAT BACK YOU SLUT!" you see seodore hit the woman in the spine with a painting, and then run past you, back into the hunting section. the woman screams in agony and grabs someone else by the legs, pulling them down into the writhing pile of human bodies below the altar of the Tiny.
the warning shot does nothing. they are lost to their reverie of shopping. however, when you look down, you notice a single, bloodied Tiny on the floor, looking at you with its giant, soulful beanie baby eyes.
seodore! your completes success means, as mentioned above, your well timed painting throw nails that lady in the spine, and you... turn around and book it for the exit, heading back for the hunting section. the "XL Christmas Tiny" gang is contending with the deer in this section at the moment, and the angry creature picks up a woman wearing a "I <3 MY SON" shirt and flings her gored corpse at seodore using its antlers as he starts dashing through the hunting section. right now... something seems to be slowing your final exit down...
what are you hunting for in the section, seodore? ]
no subject
[Technically, this is all he needs. Just the one Tiny. But....does he want to give it to Hakuri? Hakuri of the blue eyes and winsome smile?]
[Hakuri can share. It's fine. God, this stump hurts. Sorry, lady he's bleeding on. He'll slide the little toy into his coat with his only hand, before he's just going to go. Fuck It. Time to kick the shelf as hard as he can, and try his best to slide down the human pile of chaos here like this is a snowbank of Karens.]
[He needs to leave.]
[HE ALSO NEEDS A FUCKING HOSPITAL.]
no subject
Anyway, he takes a moment to breathe in--a short reprieve in this madness inside a KMart while studying the people who stand between him and the exit. After he's done with his short break, he swings the heavy case at the sides of people who are in the way as he sprints towards the registers. ]
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welt frowns and cocks the shotgun again to expel the wasted shells and reload, scooping up the single tiny on the ground and shoving it into his jacket at his breast to ensure its further safety. close to his heart, bloodied and battered as he is - tiny is a reflection of all, it seems. what horrors have its beady little eyes seen? does it miss being south of the border, out in the sun? where tiny the chihuahua could have fun?
anyways. with that taken care of, he aims the shotgun ahead, so that he can help seodore clear the path for them to get the fuck out of here. one is better than none, he supposes. ]
Hurry, Chihiro!
[ but now all his focus is ahead and i finally goddamn rolled low. take me out, tiny dancer. ]
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chihiro, you have obtained +1 tiny, and so much bloodloss. but you are going to make char so, so happy. your tiny is not bloodstained - it is pristine and wonderful, and you feel so warm and safe when you take it in your hands. despite all of your bloodloss, you are moving, and safely, you make your way down the World's Worst Slide of people. in fact, you do so smoothly that you avoid getting scratched, bitten, kicked, hit or stabbed the entire way down. your feet touch the ground.
the cashier is just ahead. one single man clutching a Tiny in his hands pays the cash register and sprints out of the door at mach fuck. otherwise, there is no one in your way.
welt! with chihiro taken care of and your bloodied dog safely in your coat, you feel as if the chihuahua misses nothing, because this is what it wants. to come home with you! (or the bloodshed? not sure which.) instead, you aim your shotgun and you fire, hitting another woman from your bridge club right between the eyes. what a great shot! because you are focused ahead, you miss the fact that a white haired woman wearing a shirt that says #1 FOX TOPPER and screaming bloody murder comes rushing at you, and swings a hammer at your knee from behind, slamming into the bone and shattering it. ouchies!
you've cleared the path for chihiro, and seodore has his big case! he's so ready to help! he smashes his big case into an npc and slaps them back into the deer - though you are now drenched in blood, you're doing pretty okay for injuries, and headed straight for the registers. the only three people left on the run for the registers are chihiro, welt, and the lady who just attacked welt from behind. that's it. and you're empty handed, but... at least the other two have tinies, right? teamwork! ]
no subject
[But he can't help but turn back towards the other two. Those, who have helped him get the god of all time (GOAT...wait, Tiny is a dog).]
[He will get to the cashier. But first, he will pick up whatever he sees next to him. Oh, look, it's a Walkman. Who brought music to this place? Wanted their own murder playlist? Wait, this just looks like it has ABBA's Greatest Hits. Nice.]
[He's going to YEET it as hard as he can to the white haired woman behind Welt, before moving to the cashier, his vision swimming.]
COME ON! Let's GO!
[IT'S TIME TO B-B-B-B-BUY THAT TINY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
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welt yells out in surprised pain, staggering forward and taking his not-damaged knee. but he's down, not out, and chihiro and seodore do their best to give their aid - which he appreciates, and will show once they get the hell out of here.
he swings the rifle around to aim directly at the woman's chest, pulling the trigger despite their proximity. it's worth a shot (ha ha) in case it at least scares her off before she brains him.
hoolay sends his regards. ]
no subject
well okay!! first of all, chihiro flings that walkman with all of his one armed might. unfortunately, the walkman is not the batarang. you can all hear "YEEEESSSSSS I'VE BEEN BROKEN HEAAARTEEEEDDD" play through the headphones attached to this thing as it sails through the air, and the crazy hot lady taking out welt's kneecaps dodges it like the terminator. because that weird german accent you heard was her. because she is the terminator.
anyway. seodore is running to slam his case into the lady's side, and the woman lashes out at him with the hammer, swinging at his body and landing a hit on his side, past the case. she's a maniac! she's so strong! she's so buff! she's so sexy!
and welt pulls the trigger with his rifle even though he is in pain. he shoots, and though it seemed like he was going to miss, thankfully, seodore's smack of the woman is enough to move her over, so his shot punctures right through her chest. her shirt now says "NUMBER ONE FOX (HOLE) TOPPER" because there's a hole in the middle there. she flies off of welt and hits the ground, and for a moment, there is silence.
it looks like you can pay. chihiro, the terrified worker takes your money, and you receive a receipt. you are the proud owner of a tiny. welt, all you have to do is get up and do the same. maybe seodore will help you up? ]
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[He is probably literally doing that one Tokyo Ghoul meme gazing into the distance....he's done it...they've done it.........they've won.]
[He takes one step.]
[Puts the receipt in his pocket.]
[And waits for the other two, because as much as he has had success.....]
[He can't leave them behind.]
[mY heart will go on..... Hilary Duff]
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if he can make it there.
his shoulder the way it is, seodore has little trouble disarming him. but even getting hit over the head with this hefty case - his skull audibly crunches - doesn't immediately put him down. ]
You... [ he lifts his face to look at seodore, before lunging with his good leg to tackle him. ]
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well, chihiro has one tiny. welt has one tiny. seodore has... an indeterminate number of tinies... perhaps zero? perhaps?
behind you, you will see that the exit doors are shining an odd glowy pink color, showing not the parking lot, but a void. a familiar shiny pink void, much like the one that yoru, therion and jiaoqiu were yeeted out of at mach fuck. it is your way out of this place... if you can get out of this place alive. :)
you're starting to remember who you are - it's kind of fuzzy (especially for welt who just got crunched in the noggin) and what you're doing. do you really want to be murdering each other right now... or do you want to be escaping...?
with tiny, of course. no matter what you remember you know you gotta get the fuck out of here with tiny. ]
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[The FUCK he thought you were COOL and...wait, they haven't even really talked why would he think this, again. WHY WOULDN'T Seodore want to murder Welt for a small dog plushie.]
[Either way, this is NOT JUSTICE!!! He might have a whole pink void to go to, but-]
[He's Chihiro Rokuhira, and Chihiro Rokuhira protects the weak and destroys evil.]
[Time to fucking go and try to NAB Seodore with his only hand to wrench him and then fucking. Kick him right in the fucking head.]
[What's leaving, again?]
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All he can think of is how he promised Rumeld, his deceased husband that he would take care of the kids after he was gone. He has to take care of them, feed them, raise them--all seven. If he could sell all these Tinys, he would have enough money to do that. Why did they even choose to raise seven children who looked like Seodore? Because Rumeld was a softie, and he wanted to give them a good life. All of them were adopted, and he wanted to care for them so much until he met his end.
Seodore would do anything for Rumeld. That was his wish at his deathbed. He will carry it out accordingly. Even if he isn't the type to murder others just because. At most, he had caused disorder and chaos, but straight up murder? No. Never.
But he has eight Tinys in his rifle case. Right. He can feed them all. He can pay their college tuition without taking out a loan. All in exchange of a neighbor's Tiny? Is this thing really worth the life of his neighbor that he's grown close to over the years? And to betray another one?
Yes.
No one else is higher than Rumeld. Rumeld's wishes are his top priority.
Despite being attacked, he slams the rifle case, full of eight Tinys and its original weight one more time onto Welt's head. he's sure that it would cave his skull in this time. His Tiny will be his. His. Then he can scalp them for profit. He can realize the wish. he can take care of the seven children--
But then he remembers.
This is not what what Rumeld died for, nor it's what he wanted. Clarity starts gracing Seodore's obnoxiously red eyes and he realizes what he's done.
... ]
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he's not a herrscher of reason any longer. he's just a father of four, loving husband, and funnies comic author in this version of events, this black friday massacre of 1999.
but he's still hard to put down. seodore hits him over the head, and the crunch is louder, this time, and the result is a wet noise when seodore pulls back his weapon and treasure trove. his body curls around the precious tiny -
and then he groans, because himeko is going to kill him herself for not returning - not to their apartment in the building they share with chihiro and seodore, but to the astral express. ]
... m'not dying... in this place... [ slurring his words, and forcing himself upright onto his hands and knees no matter the pain. ] Let's... let's go...
PARTY'S OVER!!
the three of you - welt, staggering, chihiro, missing an arm, and seodore, left with the horrors of the violence he has just committed, realize in this moment that you have to, have to get back to nueva bork.
the sparkly, pink void awaits you.
each of you return back with one (1) Tiny in your shaking hands to return to Nueva Bork. you return with all of your injuries, a lot of guilt, and... that's it. dang...
wait, one more thing! for the next 24 hours, you will also intermittently believe that you are living your AU life still.
congratulations on escaping your fun adventure! :) ]