Graveyard Locations

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Graveyard

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https://www.pixelbritneyspears.███/the_mall.html

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Welcome to My World... :)

Bummer! It looks like you died. But nothing says "coping with my despair" like a shopping spree, right? Right?

The mall features a grand total of nine stores, two booths and an amazing two whole restrooms, kept squeaky clean and smelling like vanilla blossoms 24/7. The mall is decorated in bright, sparkling pinks from nearly top to bottom. The light fixtures are bedazzled. The benches are sequined. The massage chairs, all free of charge at the press of a bottom, are clad with beautiful, hot pink faux leather. It squeaks delightfully when you sit down. The greatest music of all time plays on loop throughout the whole mall at all times of the day. We promise you won't ever get tired of these ear worms!

While there are doors that should, in theory, lead to the parking lot, shoppers will find themselves unable to exit the mall. The four doors (three located out in the corridors, and one in JCPenney) are firmly shut. And even if they weren't, there... isn't really anywhere to go when you take a look through the glass paned doors. There is a heavy snowstorm happening right outside, and the vague shape of a partially constructed tower in the distance. Weird.

Big Kmart

Just like all warehouse-type stores, the Big K-Mart is aisle upon aisle of shelves, with dirty linoleum floor and boring concrete walls. The fluorescent lighting in here is horrible and eye-searing. Sometimes, the lighting changes to disco-themed, and strobes for a full five minutes before going back to normal.

You can find anything in here. It's almost like if Costco had a baby with a Walmart. There's a whole section of clothes - all of them are from the nineties, you will not find anything modern here - in various states of quality. There are fresh groceries, with all sorts of foods in freezers and on shelves. You'll find they've got an expansive stock of Lunchables, Danimals, and Kid Cuisine. Oh - also, if you don't feel like anything from here, there's a nice little food court with Taco Bell, Baco Taco, Tinkle Binkle, and Tell Baco stores. They all sell chalupas. Additionally, apparently there's a secret menu? If you ask for a Taco Baco, Bell Taco, Baco Tell, or a Binkle Tinkle, you will be able to order alcoholic drinks! You deserve this.

On the other side there's a section for arts and crafts and home decor. You can make friendship bracelets here with little beads and charms. Other aisles include: appliances, camping, school supplies, make-up and skincare, tools and repairs, shoes, movies on DVD and VHS, music - good god, how far back does this place go? Does it ever end?

(The answer is no. There's no end to this place, and no matter how long or far you look, you'll never find the back wall of the Big K-Mart.)

Build-A-Bear Workshop

It's a Build-A-Bear! Inside this store, you can make the best friend of your dreams. In fact, you have to make the best friend of your dreams, because you cannot leave once you've walked in.

When you enter the store, there is a circular display that has animal plushies piled to the ceiling. There are many animals to choose from, from real to fantasy - you might even find a Pokémon or two if you dig deep enough into the never-ending pile. Once you pick an animal, you can proceed to the frankly overwhelming accessories wall.

There are clothes, bracelets, necklaces, shoes... and the funny thing is, some of these outfits look familiar? They might be mini versions of your clothes, or even the clothes of people you know back home. Neat.

And then you pick a voice! The clips are all around five seconds long, and they're mostly prerecorded. You'll find things like a cute little voice saying, "I love you!" or "Let's be friends forever!" or, if you're especially lucky, the dying gurgle of your closest friend, begging you for help.

... Anyway, take your friend to the counter, and do the Friendship Ceremony! This can be anything from having to bounce up and down and say your ABCs as fast as you can to doing a little dance. Only when you've completed this ceremony will you get a certificate saying that your friend is ready to go home, and you can finally leave the store.

Claire's

This place is an assault on the eyeballs. You walk into this store and everything is covered with glitter. It's cramped and claustrophobic in here, the aisles really only big enough for one adult to stand comfortably between. There's a whole wall of necklaces, earrings, hair accessories, and bracelets in pastel colors, as well as a selection of cute bags made of some slick, shiny plastic, in the shapes of flowers, desserts and butterflies. Try not to knock over the shelves, and try not to breathe in too deeply - the smell of three dollar perfume is overwhelming and makes you dizzy if you're in here for too long.

But hey, we all know you're here for the piercings, right? You can go right to the back, where there's a plastic lawn chair sitting up against the wall. It wobbles when you sit down. But once you do, invisible hands grab you, hold you down in the chair, and do exactly as advertised - you get a piercing. Where? Up to you. And honestly, the sign never said how big the piercing has to be. Maybe you get a cute earring, or maybe you get a hole drilled through your torso. It's a toss-up. Good thing you're already dead, right?

KB Toys

The front of this store is especially lively. There's a display with twelve little yappy mechanical dogs pausing every five seconds to do the most pathetic flip you've ever seen. They're cute, though! You could take one home with you if you'd like.

Inside KB Toys are all sorts of toys and playthings. There's about four full shelves of Nerf guns, another three of dinosaurs, and another two of realistic dolls that can be fed and use the toilet. One aisle is full of wrestling themed action figures, advertised as capable of really sweating! Another aisle has all sorts of baking toys, from Easy Bake Ovens to McDonald's Pie Makers, and still another has a whole smorgasbord of Polly Pocket dolls and accessories. Just like the other stores, you can't really find the back of this place - it just goes on forever. And, of course, not a single toy you find in here was produced past the year 1999.

In the middle of the store is a glass display. Floating in this glass display is a Bop It. Hm. Mysterious.

JCPenney

You can find the fancy stuff here. Prom dresses, fancy jewelry, expensive shoes, business casual suits... this is where you go when K-Mart just isn't cutting it.

This place is a nightmare to navigate, though. Near the check-out counters is a confusing mess of bedding displays, and it's impossible to get past the model beds without donking your knee against the metal frames. Right past this area is a salon? It's just right in the middle of all the display beds. If you venture into it, someone will sit you down and do your hair and makeup for you. The style is anywhere from space buns to high ponytails with a crazy amount of accessories. Your eyeshadow will be glittery. When you walk out with your new 'do and face, you can hear a gaggle of teenage girls giggling at you somewhere.

Oh, also, inexplicably, instead of the perfume section, you can find a fully stocked First Aid station. If you're bored enough to read the manifesto that's left out on the counter, you can get the gist that the workers got tired of selling JCPenney brand scents, quit, and went to work at Claire's instead.

Radio Shack

The Radio Shack is a store that hums with the sound of technology that is working too hard for the amount of RAM it has. One half of the store is full of cool, transparent technology, and several tester stations for video games where you can play twenty minutes of popular games such as Banjo Kaz**ie and Final Fantasy VII, featuring its handsome low-poly protagonist Butt Strife. There's also a tester station for M*rio Kart, which can be played by up to four people! But when you leave your game playing session, you'll find your skin in various spots of your body is completely transparent so you too can see your innards. It's temporary. Probably.

The other half of the store has a variety of electronic gizmos and gadgets, like RC cars, Walkmans and Tamagotchis, and an entire wall of batteries called the Power Zone. Occasionally, the top of a car battery will peel off and spill battery acid on the floor. At the back of the Radio Shack is a seating area made up of inflatable furniture, and inexplicably, one of them is a massage chair.

You can find fully functional digital pianos of varying sizes in the front displays. Why not switch one on and have yourself a jam session? Though if you play the pianos for too long, you might get the sense that your mother is looking at you disapprovingly for embarrassing her in public. Your mother isn't even here.

Why are there so many electronic stores in the mall, anyway? It's the future, baby. Welcome to Y2k.

Suncoast

Suncoast is a media store, and its aisles are lined with racks and racks and racks of brand new CDs. Check out Now That's What I Call Music...1! And many other hits, sorted by genre and style. The latest in technology - DVDs - are also present here, from romance to drama to a wall of black-cased DVDs labeled ADULT ONLY. If you dare to peek at these, you'll find all the 1990s big titty h*ntai you could possibly watch. Yikes. However, should you try to watch one for more than five minutes, a tentacle emerges from the dvd case and throws you out of the store. Maybe don't do that.

If you're not naughty, a single mid-sized tv-screen behind the checkout counter is big enough that you could hypothetically host a movie night within the Suncoast's walls.

Cardboard cutouts of a variety of celebrities, including cardboard cutouts of yourself, sit at attractive angles in the store, enticing you to buy their wares. But all of the cardboard cutouts of Sp*ke and J*stin T*mberlake could not compare to the crown jewel of the Suncoast.

At the very back of the store is a massive machine with one open slot that seems like it will accept more than one item inside. The sign at the top of the machine reads HIT CLIPS! COLLECT EM ALL! And beside the Hit Clips Machine is the aforementioned crown jewel of cardboard cutouts. Britney Spears sits here in all of her glory, and... weirdly, you feel like there might be something special about her...

Hot Topic

Upon entering, you are immediately blasted with Crawling by Linkin Park playing at top volume. This is the only song that plays in this store.

This is a similarly cramped store. It's filled to the brim with the latest band merch, from Relient K to Jimmy Eat World, as well as all the best shows that normies don't like. Invader Zim, Ren and Stimpy, Rocko's Modern Life... all of these are present in the form of plushies, backpacks, t-shirts, slap bracelets, necklaces, press-on nails, so on and so forth. Behind all this merch at the back of the store is a section with spray paint, lighters, guitar picks, and nail polish.

The longer you spend in here, the more you just don't care about rules, about authority, man. What's authority ever done for you? Stupid preps ruining everything. Maybe you should riot? Or at the very least, you should stay out past curfew. Your parents don't know anything.

Foot Locker

Welcome to Foot Locker!

Unfortunately, this is not a shoe store.

The Foot Locker is a store full of lockers on either wall. Opening each locker reveals a large amount of plastic mannequin feet that tumble out in an avalanche.

Each aisle of the Foot Locker is covered in corkboards. On each corkboard there are... pictures of feet. Lots of them. Feet pics from people you know. From people you don't know. Each one is priced based on its worth. To who? Who knows.

If you remove a foot picture from the wall, it simply returns. If you rip the same one off the wall twice, it is replaced with a picture of YOUR feet. For free. Don't vandalize the Forbidden Foot Locker.

At the back of the Foot Locker, there is a very, very large locker. The combination is locked. God only knows what could be in there.

Auntie Anne's

Pretzels! Yay!

There's your typical flavors here, salted and non-salted, jalapeno, cinnamon... and then the not so typical ones, like pickle and sauerkraut. The dipping sauces fare similarly: cheese, of course, but also ranch, siracha, shrimp cocktail, and an unidentifiable multicolored rainbow goo that makes you hallucinate Robin Sparkles for an hour.

There's a soda fountain right on the counter, free for you to use. Get yourself some delicious Woka Wola! They do not serve Bepsi.

You can also just go ahead and jump over the counter and make your own pretzels. Nobody is going to stop you.

Comcast

You get the sense, upon walking up to this booth, that everything here hates you.

The flip phones, the radios, the walkie-talkies, the invisible, intangible employees - everything in this little shop hates you so much that you can practically feel the negative charge coming off of them. Rancid vibes, man... if you pick up an electronic, it will zap you. You will get zapped so bad it leaves a burn behind, and you'll also feel disgruntled about technological advances for an hour. It's almost like something in this place doesn't approve of innovation.

There's a phone in a case on the counter, though. It has an emergency number next to it that you can plug in, if you'd like. For now, you just get the sound of a dial-up tone. Sounds like someone is using the internet somewhere. Maybe you ought to wait for them to be finished doing whatever it is they're doing and check back later.

Bathrooms

Mall bathrooms! Who doesn't love a mall bathroom. You have two of them. How exciting.

The bathrooms are separated into girls and boys. Though, occasionally, you may step through either door and mysteriously end up in a private "family bathroom" for those of you with children. None of you have children, but you might hear the screams of children if you try to use it! Yikes. Maybe you should leave.

The bathrooms themselves contain a couple of toilets, sinks, those neat air blowing hand dryer machines that work 80% of the time and make your skin ripple, and... a shower? There's a shower in each one. It has a door for privacy, and all the soaps inside are from B*th and B*dy Works. That's nice! The hot water even works.

By the door, there's a baby changing station and a vending machine full of Warhead candies, Happy Bunny stickers, and questionably useful Tylen*l.

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