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[ One minute, the two of you are doing teen things as you try to figure out this time loop nonsense, and the next, you feel an unpleasant, strange sensation crawl up the back of your neck. Then, you're falling. Falling, falling, falling.... and then you black out.
And then you wake up!
You find yourself standing in a nicely, turquoisey-aqua colored... void. a black window with four squares bounces harmlessly around the area. and more importantly, in front of you float two boxes. ]
[ in the white box, a cursor appears, and a keyboard appears just in front of you, waiting patiently for you to type in a username. there is no other explanation as to what's going on at this time.
hmm! mysterious. feel free to chat for a few tags, but once you're ready, enter a username for both fig and riz, and indicate that you pressed start. ]
And then you wake up!
You find yourself standing in a nicely, turquoisey-aqua colored... void. a black window with four squares bounces harmlessly around the area. and more importantly, in front of you float two boxes. ]
[ in the white box, a cursor appears, and a keyboard appears just in front of you, waiting patiently for you to type in a username. there is no other explanation as to what's going on at this time.
hmm! mysterious. feel free to chat for a few tags, but once you're ready, enter a username for both fig and riz, and indicate that you pressed start. ]
[ well getting transported somewhere crazy and new suddenly with no warning is apparently par for the course this semester!!!!! so sure. accepting this without an issue - though he is QUITE relieved fig is here too. the party sticks together. going to tap at the keyboard. investigatin' ]
Well, what's your username going to be?
Well, what's your username going to be?
[oh yeah good idea, man. making up fake names on the spot is one of fig's specialties.
she types in graNmasWeetie]
They won't guess it's us.
she types in graNmasWeetie]
They won't guess it's us.
[ graNmasWeetie
>ACCEPTED
Fig, the name graNmasWeetie appears in front of you, though it faces outwards - riz can read it easily! for you it's in reverse.
The cursor continues to blink as it waits for its second user. ]
>ACCEPTED
Fig, the name graNmasWeetie appears in front of you, though it faces outwards - riz can read it easily! for you it's in reverse.
The cursor continues to blink as it waits for its second user. ]
Granma ...
[ i see.
he types in TelemaineLomenelda
his house now, bitch. ]
[ i see.
he types in TelemaineLomenelda
his house now, bitch. ]
That's rude. You're going to get Fabian's grandpa and the future grandpa of all my little brothers and sisters in trouble.
[but it's fine.]
Let's find some chat rooms for old people and catfish them.
[she will press start]
[but it's fine.]
Let's find some chat rooms for old people and catfish them.
[she will press start]
[ TelemaineLomenelda
>ACCEPTED.
just like before, riz now has TelemaineLomenelda displayed on him like a nametag, facing outwards to the world for anyone to see.
fig presses start! it's a button she gets to tap, and when she does, a screen with a loading bar appears in front of them, facing them. while that loads (damn windows 98), two figures appear above the loading bar -- the two of you!
well, at least, kind of? you are both so blocky. and weird. the figures look more like fig and riz than they do like these two weirdos, but you both have the same base features and an extremely blockified version of your normal clothing.
Another prompt appears. ]
NEW PLAYER BONUS:
CHOOSE YOUR UPGRADE!
+ 1 BRAINS
+ 1 BRAWN
+ 1 MUSIC
+ 1 CHICK MAGNET
+ 1 SURPRISE ME
[ it seems each of you can choose one of each of these things... whatever they are... the screen loads to about 50% in the meantime. ]
>ACCEPTED.
just like before, riz now has TelemaineLomenelda displayed on him like a nametag, facing outwards to the world for anyone to see.
fig presses start! it's a button she gets to tap, and when she does, a screen with a loading bar appears in front of them, facing them. while that loads (damn windows 98), two figures appear above the loading bar -- the two of you!
well, at least, kind of? you are both so blocky. and weird. the figures look more like fig and riz than they do like these two weirdos, but you both have the same base features and an extremely blockified version of your normal clothing.
Another prompt appears. ]
NEW PLAYER BONUS:
CHOOSE YOUR UPGRADE!
+ 1 BRAINS
+ 1 BRAWN
+ 1 MUSIC
+ 1 CHICK MAGNET
+ 1 SURPRISE ME
[ it seems each of you can choose one of each of these things... whatever they are... the screen loads to about 50% in the meantime. ]
[ he hovers over brains for a long time but. he has those already? does he need MORE?
+1 SURPRISE ME ]
+1 SURPRISE ME ]
[likewise, she goes to select music, but then sees something so much more compelling
+1 CHICK MAGNET
hehehe]
+1 CHICK MAGNET
hehehe]
[ TelemaineLomenelda has been upgraded with THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS. a tiny pixelated bear appears at your side and looks up at you with its creepy, blocky, pixelated face...? at least it's cute.
graNmasWeetie has been upgraded with A THUNDERBIRD which appears to be a Barbie sized...car? It looks like a car. It is hard to tell because this is the 90s and the graphics are bad. cybertruck joke here. ...however, touching the Car turns it into an electric guitar. Could you get any cooler than that. chicks dig cars AND music.
With that done, the loading bar ticks to 99%, and a message flashes once more.
A little square box appears next to both of your usernames, facing you so it can be read - CHAT. If you press this button, you can chat with other users of the game. wow!
With that, a large portal opens, beckoning the two of you to step through. And when you do, you find yourselves... here. ]
[ the floor under your feet is plush carpet... you think. it is an absolutely jarring, nauseating mix of sight, sound and color - moving pictures, moving words in 3d space, moving everything. flashing signs say "CLICK HERE" in a variety of different colors, faces flash up on what you think are billboards, and you can hear muffled chatter coming from all around the place itself.
despite this, there doesn't seem to be any person around? at least not yet. there are several weird looking portal like doors like the one that says RECEPTION and a whole 360 view to explore. ]
graNmasWeetie has been upgraded with A THUNDERBIRD which appears to be a Barbie sized...car? It looks like a car. It is hard to tell because this is the 90s and the graphics are bad. cybertruck joke here. ...however, touching the Car turns it into an electric guitar. Could you get any cooler than that. chicks dig cars AND music.
With that done, the loading bar ticks to 99%, and a message flashes once more.
WELCOME TO THE WORLD.
The World is a unique new experience called a Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game. Copyrighted by [redacted], it is a place for all to chat and get to know each other in the new digital age. Your AVATAR is your key to this world.
To begin to interact with others, simply CHAT with them. Enjoy your exploration!
A little square box appears next to both of your usernames, facing you so it can be read - CHAT. If you press this button, you can chat with other users of the game. wow!
With that, a large portal opens, beckoning the two of you to step through. And when you do, you find yourselves... here. ]
[ the floor under your feet is plush carpet... you think. it is an absolutely jarring, nauseating mix of sight, sound and color - moving pictures, moving words in 3d space, moving everything. flashing signs say "CLICK HERE" in a variety of different colors, faces flash up on what you think are billboards, and you can hear muffled chatter coming from all around the place itself.
despite this, there doesn't seem to be any person around? at least not yet. there are several weird looking portal like doors like the one that says RECEPTION and a whole 360 view to explore. ]
[ i actually don't know that riz understands this joke as a reference to the bill of rights but he gets the idea it's supposed to be a BEAR SLASH GUN joke and he can deal with that. sure!!!!!
taking a spin around to see what's out there?
and then he will look over at Fig. ]
Do you want to handle the, uh, chatting with strangers?
taking a spin around to see what's out there?
and then he will look over at Fig. ]
Do you want to handle the, uh, chatting with strangers?
[fuck yeah!! fig will turn her guitar into a thunderbird so she can drive around this area. i see the prodding to head towards reception but fig has different ideas.]
Absolutely. Let's go find a chat room for old people. Hop in and follow me.
[she's going to step on the gas and head straight towards that "country" portal. do i see a "classic rock" portal behind it? she would like to drive into the world of classic rock. what a perfect place for a jamming chick magnet grandma.]
Absolutely. Let's go find a chat room for old people. Hop in and follow me.
[she's going to step on the gas and head straight towards that "country" portal. do i see a "classic rock" portal behind it? she would like to drive into the world of classic rock. what a perfect place for a jamming chick magnet grandma.]
[ help i love this.
riz first - when riz spins around, he can see that the area is just fucking FULL of stuff. there are so many of these portals that he knows instinctually lead to Worlds. there's the Reception directly in front, and then to the back, there's an entrance to the Teenz Only Chat Zone.
however fig is stepping on the gas. so!!! she will find that her cool thunderbird is actually pretty small? it's like a tiny little tykes car for her avatar, but she can sit on it and ride it around to the Rooms. riz is little so he can fit on the back. he better hold on tight to his bear.
fig heads for the music hallway! the car cruises down a strange, carpeted hallway. the circles on the wall undulate in and out, making for a dizzying, terrible ride, or the latest in 90s graphics, depending on your flavor. more importantly, tucked between the circles are more portals! inside of the hallway appears to be many, many of these fan spaces, from country to R&B to, yes, Classic Rock.
entering the Classic Rock portal takes fig and riz into another area, where two different doors read AEROSMITH FANS and GRATEFUL DEAD HIPPIES there is a fork in the road here. where does your grandma hunting take you. ]
riz first - when riz spins around, he can see that the area is just fucking FULL of stuff. there are so many of these portals that he knows instinctually lead to Worlds. there's the Reception directly in front, and then to the back, there's an entrance to the Teenz Only Chat Zone.
however fig is stepping on the gas. so!!! she will find that her cool thunderbird is actually pretty small? it's like a tiny little tykes car for her avatar, but she can sit on it and ride it around to the Rooms. riz is little so he can fit on the back. he better hold on tight to his bear.
fig heads for the music hallway! the car cruises down a strange, carpeted hallway. the circles on the wall undulate in and out, making for a dizzying, terrible ride, or the latest in 90s graphics, depending on your flavor. more importantly, tucked between the circles are more portals! inside of the hallway appears to be many, many of these fan spaces, from country to R&B to, yes, Classic Rock.
entering the Classic Rock portal takes fig and riz into another area, where two different doors read AEROSMITH FANS and GRATEFUL DEAD HIPPIES there is a fork in the road here. where does your grandma hunting take you. ]
Edited 2024-10-08 23:21 (UTC)
[ goodbye teenz only chat zone!!!!!! to be fair he's not the one looking for people to catfish in the chat. he'll let fig drive, only leaning around her to take a look at the doors - I don't know that he knows these bands either!!!
but what he will do is while he's hanging on, bring up the chat window and type into it
Anyone out there? ]
but what he will do is while he's hanging on, bring up the chat window and type into it
Anyone out there? ]
[fig definitely doesn't know these bands but it's a very difficult rp moment. an old rock grandma seems like she'd be more into a hippie vibe, but the thunderbird and electric guitar is much more classic rock. after thinking about it for a moment, she will veer into the aerosmith zone and type into the chat]
graNmasWeetie: woo! granmas here! anyone dtf? babes ONLY!!!!!!!!!
graNmasWeetie: woo! granmas here! anyone dtf? babes ONLY!!!!!!!!!
[ underneath the CHAT box, another box appears! and things begin to appear in it, rapidfire.
chatting into the void doesn't get much specific - snippets of other conversations. ]
chacarroNXX: hey
__DarkMOONZ__: lol get pwned noob spotted
ChickenGirl: hhahaha be nice
Azazel: WOE AND DEATH BE UPON YE WHO FORGETS THE HOLY WORD OF THE LORD AND THE SON AND THE HOLY SPIRIT YOU WILL DIE IF YOU ENTER HERE
JustinsGurlfriend: yeah so she was doing the macarena downstairs
Zard_the_Nard: THE MEN WHO DO NOT WALK AMONG US WILL WALK INTO THE FIRES OF HELL JOIN THEM MOVEMENT
GratefUlFan how do i type a penits
[ sheesh. however!!
fig and riz enter into the AEROSMITH FANS WORLD.
this room is designed to look like a cool bar. it's smoky, in the way that a game in the 90s can be smoky, and the walls are filled with guitars, bad quality moving gifs of steven tyl*r, whoever that is, and pixelated concert videos. the room seems to go on for forever, far past your pixelated eyes can currently see. and more importantly, there are two people in here!!!
figure one is ... this guy, username RINGRINGRINGRING sitting at the pixelated AEROSMITH FANS bar, jerking and fidgeting occasionally. figure two is this guy, _XHoleinmySOULX_ who is staring at you both with his unnerving, flat, pixelated eyes. ]
chatting into the void doesn't get much specific - snippets of other conversations. ]
chacarroNXX: hey
__DarkMOONZ__: lol get pwned noob spotted
ChickenGirl: hhahaha be nice
Azazel: WOE AND DEATH BE UPON YE WHO FORGETS THE HOLY WORD OF THE LORD AND THE SON AND THE HOLY SPIRIT YOU WILL DIE IF YOU ENTER HERE
JustinsGurlfriend: yeah so she was doing the macarena downstairs
Zard_the_Nard: THE MEN WHO DO NOT WALK AMONG US WILL WALK INTO THE FIRES OF HELL JOIN THEM MOVEMENT
GratefUlFan how do i type a penits
[ sheesh. however!!
fig and riz enter into the AEROSMITH FANS WORLD.
this room is designed to look like a cool bar. it's smoky, in the way that a game in the 90s can be smoky, and the walls are filled with guitars, bad quality moving gifs of steven tyl*r, whoever that is, and pixelated concert videos. the room seems to go on for forever, far past your pixelated eyes can currently see. and more importantly, there are two people in here!!!
figure one is ... this guy, username RINGRINGRINGRING sitting at the pixelated AEROSMITH FANS bar, jerking and fidgeting occasionally. figure two is this guy, _XHoleinmySOULX_ who is staring at you both with his unnerving, flat, pixelated eyes. ]
[ well since the banana is the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life, riz will be IGNORING IT STRONGLY.
he'll leave the talking to Fig since she's good at that, but he's really good at INVESTIGATING. so he'll go ahead and take a poke around hte whole room - is tehre anything hidden in the guitars or behind the bar? ]
he'll leave the talking to Fig since she's good at that, but he's really good at INVESTIGATING. so he'll go ahead and take a poke around hte whole room - is tehre anything hidden in the guitars or behind the bar? ]
[ummmmm where's all the chicks?]
graNmasWeetie: ummmm wheres all the chicks?
graNmasWeetie: lol telemaine gtfo noob
graNmasWeetie: anyway tell me where to find the chicks
[what a disappointment. though there's something compelling about this banana man. she will wave, friendly.]
graNmasWeetie: ummmm wheres all the chicks?
graNmasWeetie: lol telemaine gtfo noob
graNmasWeetie: anyway tell me where to find the chicks
[what a disappointment. though there's something compelling about this banana man. she will wave, friendly.]
[ the bananaman looks... well, he still looks like he's smiling, but he does not chat with you or riz. he simply ominously stares, and eventually, slowly, lifts one hand. perhaps he does not like to start conversations. his red eyes do not blink. you could perhaps hit the chat button to start a private dm if you wanted to, but he is a banana of mystery...
since riz is decidedly not chatting, he can poke around the bar a bit with his investigation eyes, bear avatar in tow. with a partial success, what he sees are a whole lot of terrible gif shrines to aerosmith, at least behind the bar. he can also find a small object that looks like a tape, that glows slightly. an indicator appears over the top of it. COLLECT!
there's also, in a corner near the guitars as you get down to look behind them, this fucking thing, that you realize now is alive. its eyes move from left to right and stare at you. hmmm.
in the meantime: there's a ping! noise, and a chat appears in the AEROSMITH WORLD. ]
_XHoleinmySOULX_: the chicks are in the back but you don't look like you're worthy enough to spend time with them. L O L
_XHoleinmySOULX_: you gotta pass a test if u wanna get in THIS world. u prove ur a real fan, u can come in.
since riz is decidedly not chatting, he can poke around the bar a bit with his investigation eyes, bear avatar in tow. with a partial success, what he sees are a whole lot of terrible gif shrines to aerosmith, at least behind the bar. he can also find a small object that looks like a tape, that glows slightly. an indicator appears over the top of it. COLLECT!
there's also, in a corner near the guitars as you get down to look behind them, this fucking thing, that you realize now is alive. its eyes move from left to right and stare at you. hmmm.
in the meantime: there's a ping! noise, and a chat appears in the AEROSMITH WORLD. ]
_XHoleinmySOULX_: the chicks are in the back but you don't look like you're worthy enough to spend time with them. L O L
_XHoleinmySOULX_: you gotta pass a test if u wanna get in THIS world. u prove ur a real fan, u can come in.
[ LEAVE ME ALONE BANANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! absolutely not.
he'll take the tape and then stare back at the very creepy ... thing. ]
TelemaineLomenelda: Can I help you?
TelemaineLomenelda: Do you know what we're supposed to be doing here?
he'll take the tape and then stare back at the very creepy ... thing. ]
TelemaineLomenelda: Can I help you?
TelemaineLomenelda: Do you know what we're supposed to be doing here?
[what the fuck. this dick.
okay, first, she is opening a private dm with the banana.]
graNmasWeetie: hey _XHoleinmySOULX_ kind of sucks huh i came here to meet cool people like you
[and then she will answer him in the chat]
graNmasWeetie: wow ok gatekeeping is not really in the spirit of aerosmith but whatever give me your test
graNmasWeetie: assuming YOU'RE a real fan
graNmasWeetie: i bet you don't even know about their bastion city show
graNmasWeetie: i bet you werent even born yet
graNmasWeetie: i was THERE
okay, first, she is opening a private dm with the banana.]
graNmasWeetie: hey _XHoleinmySOULX_ kind of sucks huh i came here to meet cool people like you
[and then she will answer him in the chat]
graNmasWeetie: wow ok gatekeeping is not really in the spirit of aerosmith but whatever give me your test
graNmasWeetie: assuming YOU'RE a real fan
graNmasWeetie: i bet you don't even know about their bastion city show
graNmasWeetie: i bet you werent even born yet
graNmasWeetie: i was THERE
[ the very creepy thing opens its mouth and the following appears in the chatbox.
AAAAAAAAA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANEXAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANEXAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANEXAAAAAAAA
wow. amazing. helpful! riz is +1 tape. the bear next to him makes a chirrupy pixelated noise of joy! the tape appears to be an audio file. an option does appear to play it, but it also says "AEROSMITH CHAT ROOM RULES: NO EXTRA MUSIC". so. you know. you can decide if you want to wait or not.
the banana, unblinking, appears to process? maybe? and then ]
RINGRINGRING: that's todd hes cool hes just rly into aerosmith. but u should try to pass his quiz. the lizard man approves if you pass the quiz
[ what. okay.
in the meantime, _XHoleinmySOULX_ looks as offended as a pixel avatar in the 90s can look. you rattled him. ]
_XHoleinmySOULX_ how old are u, like 900?
_XHoleinmySOULX_ im a real fan just because i wasnt alive i can apprecaite it better than a deaf old lady
_XHoleinmySOULX_ so SHUT UP ABOUT IT!!!!! WHATEVER OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT THAT IS ANYWAY
_XHoleinmySOULX_ QUIZ TIME!!!
[ the lights in the room go mysteriously dark, suddenly. maybe it's a glitch? but then they flash brightly, like an overly saturated 90s gif. the banana is now wearing a bowtie. it's also holding a pixelated shotgun and pointing it at fig. the banana was never your ally. ]
_XHoleinmySOULX_ QUIZ RULES: PUNISHMENT IF FAILURE!!! THREE WRONG ANSWERS RESULTS IN AUTOMATIC DELETION
_XHoleinmySOULX_ WAT DOES STEVEN TYL*R LIKE TO DO IN HIS SPARE TIME AS STATED IN THE 1986 ISSUE OF R*LLING ST*NE
AAAAAAAAA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANEXAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANEXAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANEXAAAAAAAA
wow. amazing. helpful! riz is +1 tape. the bear next to him makes a chirrupy pixelated noise of joy! the tape appears to be an audio file. an option does appear to play it, but it also says "AEROSMITH CHAT ROOM RULES: NO EXTRA MUSIC". so. you know. you can decide if you want to wait or not.
the banana, unblinking, appears to process? maybe? and then ]
RINGRINGRING: that's todd hes cool hes just rly into aerosmith. but u should try to pass his quiz. the lizard man approves if you pass the quiz
[ what. okay.
in the meantime, _XHoleinmySOULX_ looks as offended as a pixel avatar in the 90s can look. you rattled him. ]
_XHoleinmySOULX_ how old are u, like 900?
_XHoleinmySOULX_ im a real fan just because i wasnt alive i can apprecaite it better than a deaf old lady
_XHoleinmySOULX_ so SHUT UP ABOUT IT!!!!! WHATEVER OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT THAT IS ANYWAY
_XHoleinmySOULX_ QUIZ TIME!!!
[ the lights in the room go mysteriously dark, suddenly. maybe it's a glitch? but then they flash brightly, like an overly saturated 90s gif. the banana is now wearing a bowtie. it's also holding a pixelated shotgun and pointing it at fig. the banana was never your ally. ]
_XHoleinmySOULX_ QUIZ RULES: PUNISHMENT IF FAILURE!!! THREE WRONG ANSWERS RESULTS IN AUTOMATIC DELETION
_XHoleinmySOULX_ WAT DOES STEVEN TYL*R LIKE TO DO IN HIS SPARE TIME AS STATED IN THE 1986 ISSUE OF R*LLING ST*NE
I knew that Banana was up to no good!
[ MY MORTAL ENEMY BANANA
well he'll save his tape for the right moment (probably when they have two wrong answers) - but he doesn't know anything about classic rock! his dad died when he was a kid!
so what he'll do instead is see if he can't take a look at the chat. is there an AskJeeves browser? he'll try and pull up fucking AltaVista and type in STEVE TYLOR HOBBIES ]
[ MY MORTAL ENEMY BANANA
well he'll save his tape for the right moment (probably when they have two wrong answers) - but he doesn't know anything about classic rock! his dad died when he was a kid!
so what he'll do instead is see if he can't take a look at the chat. is there an AskJeeves browser? he'll try and pull up fucking AltaVista and type in STEVE TYLOR HOBBIES ]
[no he's cool! anyway she doesn't know anything about classic rock either, her rock dad was imprisoned in a ruby her whole childhood and gilear is obviously more of an npr dad. also aerosmith probably doesn't exist its some fantasy version. anyway.
she will just try to lie.]
graNmasWeetie: well thats obvious its the ladiessssssssss
graNmasWeetie: high five
she will just try to lie.]
graNmasWeetie: well thats obvious its the ladiessssssssss
graNmasWeetie: high five
[ there is a long pause.
the strange creature beside riz pops up in the chat again.
AAAAAAAAA: AAAAAAAEYYYYYYYYYYYYYLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAANEXI
the banana and the dude look at each other. ]
RINGRINGRING: shit dude thats kind of right
_XHoleinmySOULX_ SHUT UP AND POINT YOUR GUN
_XHoleinmySOULX_ : UGHHG WHATEVER PARTIAL CREDIT BECAUSE STEVEN IS GOOD WITH THE LADIES THATS A CHEA P SHOT. LIST SOMETHING EL SE OR I SHOOT YOUR KNEECAP
[ the banana cocks its virtual shotgun. what a sentence.
riz's altavista browser pops up in a tiny secret window beside his chatbox. it is TINY and takes this entire time to load, but it is there. Steven Tylor. Scuba Diving. Chihuahua maintenance. Hunting and trapping. Scoring chicks. ]
the strange creature beside riz pops up in the chat again.
AAAAAAAAA: AAAAAAAEYYYYYYYYYYYYYLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAANEXI
the banana and the dude look at each other. ]
RINGRINGRING: shit dude thats kind of right
_XHoleinmySOULX_ SHUT UP AND POINT YOUR GUN
_XHoleinmySOULX_ : UGHHG WHATEVER PARTIAL CREDIT BECAUSE STEVEN IS GOOD WITH THE LADIES THATS A CHEA P SHOT. LIST SOMETHING EL SE OR I SHOOT YOUR KNEECAP
[ the banana cocks its virtual shotgun. what a sentence.
riz's altavista browser pops up in a tiny secret window beside his chatbox. it is TINY and takes this entire time to load, but it is there. Steven Tylor. Scuba Diving. Chihuahua maintenance. Hunting and trapping. Scoring chicks. ]
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